WEBVTT
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Terrific!
00:00:34.630 --> 00:00:37.338
So I put my finger here,
and check this...
00:00:37.713 --> 00:00:40.088
the watch tells me I have a heart problem.
00:00:40.171 --> 00:00:42.088
Wouldn't a mirror tell you the same thing?
00:00:42.171 --> 00:00:44.213
Yeah, but this has weather, too.
00:00:44.296 --> 00:00:45.296
Okay.
00:00:45.505 --> 00:00:47.838
We got an hour until
we're meeting the ladies for dinner.
00:00:47.921 --> 00:00:49.189
- Yeah.
- You wanna catch a beer?
00:00:49.213 --> 00:00:51.088
I can't. I gotta run a few errands.
00:00:51.171 --> 00:00:53.588
What? You don't want a beer? What's wrong?
00:00:53.671 --> 00:00:54.671
I...
00:00:54.963 --> 00:00:57.671
got the results back
from the detective exam.
00:00:57.755 --> 00:01:00.755
You failed again?
This is why I never took that test.
00:01:00.838 --> 00:01:02.963
All the anxiety and disappointment.
00:01:03.046 --> 00:01:05.755
At some point, you have to realize
you have hit your ceiling
00:01:05.838 --> 00:01:07.005
and just give up.
00:01:07.088 --> 00:01:09.128
You know, you should go around
and speak at schools.
00:01:09.171 --> 00:01:11.963
- That was very inspiring.
- I should. Kids need to hear this shit.
00:01:12.046 --> 00:01:13.046
I don't get it, man.
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I know all the answers,
I just freeze under pressure.
00:01:16.046 --> 00:01:18.505
You know, I can't take the exam
for, like, three more months,
00:01:18.588 --> 00:01:20.213
so I gotta continue lying to Audrey.
00:01:20.296 --> 00:01:22.005
So when we're at dinner tonight, please,
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- tell your wi...
- Ah! No.
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Come on, man.
You know I'll lie for you anytime.
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I will cover up dead bodies for you.
00:01:28.130 --> 00:01:32.255
But if I ask Holly to lie to your wife,
there's no way we're messing around.
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It's Freaky Friday!
00:01:33.505 --> 00:01:36.463
You don't have to lie,
just tell her to ignore when I'm lying.
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That's it.
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- Okay, fine.
- Thank you.
00:01:39.713 --> 00:01:41.088
You owe me.
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See you tonight.
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I gotta get Claritin. Claritin.
00:01:47.505 --> 00:01:49.213
Oh, my God! Look!
00:01:49.921 --> 00:01:51.505
He took her in a helicopter?
00:01:51.796 --> 00:01:53.880
My husband won't even pay for Uber Black.
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Yeah. I don't even...
I can't even remember the last time
00:01:57.588 --> 00:02:01.213
that Nick did anything
even remotely romantic.
00:02:01.463 --> 00:02:04.505
I mean, he used to leave me,
like, cute little mixtapes,
00:02:04.755 --> 00:02:06.671
little love notes in the bathroom.
00:02:06.755 --> 00:02:07.963
Love notes are dead.
00:02:08.046 --> 00:02:09.406
When my husband wants to have sex,
00:02:09.463 --> 00:02:11.383
he just texts me the eggplant
and doughnut emoji.
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Eggplant and doughnut...
00:02:14.088 --> 00:02:15.588
Oh. He's the eggplant.
00:02:15.880 --> 00:02:17.838
More like a fingerling potato.
00:02:17.921 --> 00:02:19.314
It doesn't take that much.
00:02:19.338 --> 00:02:21.713
There are guys at the intersection
selling flowers.
00:02:21.796 --> 00:02:24.255
You just roll down the window,
grab a bunch, bring 'em home.
00:02:24.338 --> 00:02:27.171
- I mean, they couldn't make it any easier.
- No kidding.
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I mean, tomorrow
is our 15th wedding anniversary.
00:02:30.171 --> 00:02:33.338
I'm still waiting on that trip to Europe
he promised me on our wedding day.
00:02:33.421 --> 00:02:35.255
- That's been 15 years?
- Yeah.
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I could have walked to Europe by now.
00:02:37.380 --> 00:02:38.921
You know, you just have to tell him.
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I just don't want to have to tell him.
I just want him to know.
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- No, they never just know.
- I know.
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- That doesn't happen.
- You have to tell men everything.
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If you want the dishes to not go
in the sink, you have to tell them.
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If you want him to shower
before he comes to bed,
00:02:51.255 --> 00:02:52.505
- you have to ask him.
- Ugh.
00:02:52.588 --> 00:02:54.963
That's why they have those signs
in bathrooms at restaurants
00:02:55.046 --> 00:02:57.046
to tell employees to wash their hands.
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Those aren't for women, guys.
Those are for men.
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Or maybe you could just text him,
airplane, wine glass,
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Italian flag, eggplant,
doughnut, doughnut, doughnut.
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Let's go with the 50.
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Claritin...
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Hi, welcome.
00:03:41.796 --> 00:03:42.796
Thank you.
00:03:42.838 --> 00:03:44.481
Thanks a lot.
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Are you gonna tell 'em
about the stuff in your backpack?
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Mind your own business, man.
I'm paying for this.
00:03:49.838 --> 00:03:51.713
I like your sneakers.
They must be expensive.
00:03:51.796 --> 00:03:53.963
Is that why can't afford
the Monster Energy Drink
00:03:54.046 --> 00:03:55.546
or the Flamin' Hot Cheetos?
00:03:56.796 --> 00:03:59.046
- Hang on. Hang on.
- Hey, let go of me, man.
00:04:01.088 --> 00:04:02.421
I can't believe I was right.
00:04:03.088 --> 00:04:05.463
Keep your mouth shut.
I'll mess you up, old man.
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Old man. Oh, my God.
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First of all,
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I should throw you in jail
just for calling me "old man,"
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but you bring that stuff back,
00:04:13.796 --> 00:04:17.005
I'll let you go 'cause I'm late
for dinner and I'm hungry as shit.
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Go ahead.
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- Tylenol PM? Am I right?
- No.
00:04:23.380 --> 00:04:26.231
It's not good for that.
It depends on what time of year you go.
00:04:26.255 --> 00:04:28.055
That makes sense.
Can I get another?
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We're gonna have another one?
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I'm just saying, we're paying today.
Maybe you can take it easy a little bit.
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Hey, hey. Nick. Nick.
What... What's wrong with you?
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Sorry. Should I not order
another drink, Detective?
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No. Holly, order another drink.
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Order as much as you want.
I was joking around.
00:04:43.213 --> 00:04:44.481
- That's not funny.
- The reason...
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I'm just in a great mood
because I had a great day today.
00:04:47.338 --> 00:04:50.189
- Did we have a great day or what?
- It was a fabulous day. Incredible day.
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Really? Did you get another hot case?
00:04:52.755 --> 00:04:53.588
Of what?
00:04:53.671 --> 00:04:55.296
"What."
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That was good. No, listen.
00:04:56.880 --> 00:04:58.463
Going great, kid. I promise you.
00:04:58.546 --> 00:05:00.921
It's like, uh, they're trusting me
more and more,
00:05:01.005 --> 00:05:03.213
and I, um, I wish I could tell you
what it was,
00:05:03.296 --> 00:05:04.546
but it's... it's confidential.
00:05:04.630 --> 00:05:06.421
- Wait a second.
- What?
00:05:06.505 --> 00:05:07.630
Oh, my God.
00:05:07.713 --> 00:05:09.588
- What is this?
- What is that?
00:05:09.671 --> 00:05:12.421
My baby Jimmy got it for me
for my birthday.
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- Jimmy!
- What?
00:05:13.421 --> 00:05:16.130
- Celebration diamonds.
- Oh, my gosh.
00:05:16.213 --> 00:05:17.838
- It's gorgeous!
- Thank you, Audrey.
00:05:17.921 --> 00:05:19.481
- Very expensive.
- Wow, Jimmy.
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I got you something special.
I promise, you're gonna be very happy.
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- Really?
- I can't wait.
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See, I would've pegged you, Nick,
as an Amazon gift card kinda guy,
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but... I'm no detective.
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Hey! You know what, guys?
00:05:32.838 --> 00:05:36.546
Let's toast to my friends,
Nick and Audrey.
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Fifteen wonderful years.
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Absolutely.
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- Fifteen.
- Here's to true love, guys.
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Fifteen.
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- True love.
- Yeah.
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Dinner was insane, but that's expected.
00:05:55.088 --> 00:05:56.171
But I'll tell you what,
00:05:56.255 --> 00:05:58.880
I want to record Holly
chewing her ice cubes,
00:05:58.963 --> 00:06:01.421
use it as my alarm in the morning.
That's...
00:06:01.505 --> 00:06:03.921
Guarantee me of wanting to
wake up and leave.
00:06:08.588 --> 00:06:10.796
What's the matter?
You didn't like that joke?
00:06:13.171 --> 00:06:14.338
I'm flossing.
00:06:14.421 --> 00:06:15.713
I can see that.
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You're doing it extra hard tonight.
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And I'm not sleeping with
the fan on tonight. I hate that sound.
00:06:22.463 --> 00:06:24.963
No fan necessary.
We'll crank the AC, babe.
00:06:29.463 --> 00:06:30.880
Uh-oh. What, what, what?
00:06:30.963 --> 00:06:32.883
You're gonna yell at me?
I can see this. Hang on.
00:06:32.921 --> 00:06:34.713
Why don't you do some more angry flossing?
00:06:35.546 --> 00:06:37.880
How come we haven't gone to Europe, Nick?
00:06:38.796 --> 00:06:40.130
You have to explain this to me.
00:06:40.921 --> 00:06:42.005
We never go anywhere.
00:06:42.088 --> 00:06:44.921
We travel.
I took you to the Poconos that time.
00:06:45.005 --> 00:06:46.255
What? The Poco... That was...
00:06:46.338 --> 00:06:47.755
That was for a funeral, Nick.
00:06:48.171 --> 00:06:50.630
How about, uh, when we went to Virginia
00:06:50.713 --> 00:06:52.963
when my uncle was in a hospice
and we got to see him die?
00:06:53.046 --> 00:06:54.630
- We did that.
- Ugh, Nick. Come on.
00:06:54.713 --> 00:06:56.171
I'm talking about the postcard.
00:06:56.255 --> 00:06:59.338
- You don't remember that?
- I remember it. Of course I remember it.
00:06:59.838 --> 00:07:02.921
It's been 15 years, Nick.
I don't know what we're waitin' for.
00:07:05.963 --> 00:07:08.546
Now you've gone and done it, Audrey.
00:07:08.630 --> 00:07:10.296
What? What'd I do?
00:07:12.005 --> 00:07:14.005
I told you I had something big
for you at dinner,
00:07:14.088 --> 00:07:16.255
and you couldn't wait till
tomorrow morning?
00:07:17.588 --> 00:07:18.588
No.
00:07:19.796 --> 00:07:22.005
We're finally going to Europe.
Happy anniversary.
00:07:22.588 --> 00:07:25.088
Oh, my God. I have chills.
00:07:25.171 --> 00:07:28.005
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
00:07:28.088 --> 00:07:30.130
Oh, my God! I'm so...
00:07:30.630 --> 00:07:33.130
- I ruined your surprise!
- Shh. You didn't ruin anything.
00:07:33.213 --> 00:07:35.255
You're the greatest. You deserve it.
I love you.
00:07:35.338 --> 00:07:37.880
- I love you!
- It's still a surprise. I swear.
00:07:42.046 --> 00:07:44.921
- We can afford it, right? This is all...
- We can afford it, of course.
00:07:45.005 --> 00:07:46.564
- Okay.
- I'm getting my raise this year.
00:07:46.588 --> 00:07:48.255
- Right.
- We're all set. Come on.
00:07:48.671 --> 00:07:50.046
- Hello. Hi.
- Hello.
00:07:50.130 --> 00:07:51.921
So, uh, we are on our honeymoon,
00:07:52.005 --> 00:07:54.546
and I was wondering
if we could possibly get an upgrade
00:07:54.630 --> 00:07:57.005
because I have miles. Maybe...
00:07:57.088 --> 00:08:00.380
I don't even know if it's from
this airline, but do they expire, or...
00:08:00.463 --> 00:08:02.630
Sir, you would have needed
to request that in advance.
00:08:02.713 --> 00:08:04.353
- Yeah.
- Right this way, please.
00:08:04.380 --> 00:08:06.963
- Thank you. I'm so sorry.
- We did try advance. I tried calling.
00:08:07.046 --> 00:08:08.921
- And, um, nobody...
- Who'd you call?
00:08:09.005 --> 00:08:10.546
- Crazy busy signals.
- Really?
00:08:10.630 --> 00:08:12.630
- It's the busy signals!
- Who did you try to call?
00:08:16.838 --> 00:08:19.005
I don't want to give it away.
It was the butler.
00:08:19.088 --> 00:08:20.463
The butler did it.
00:08:21.255 --> 00:08:22.921
It's never the butler who did it.
00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:25.671
I don't even think there are butlers.
00:08:25.755 --> 00:08:28.921
That's just a word created
for those goofy books you're addicted to.
00:08:29.005 --> 00:08:30.963
Would you just please, please shh?
00:08:31.046 --> 00:08:34.088
Leave my books alone, okay?
Just let me read.
00:08:34.171 --> 00:08:36.213
I just like... Makes me happy.
00:08:36.296 --> 00:08:38.171
Are you okay? You're cranky.
Are you bored?
00:08:38.255 --> 00:08:40.046
- I'm gonna go to sleep.
- Take a nap.
00:08:40.588 --> 00:08:42.228
- Are you okay with that?
- Wait, don't...
00:08:42.296 --> 00:08:44.963
But just, please, don't...
don't lay all the way back.
00:08:45.546 --> 00:08:46.963
- Don't take it back?
- No.
00:08:47.046 --> 00:08:48.796
Why? You don't want
my double chin to show?
00:08:48.880 --> 00:08:51.546
It's not your chins, okay. It's just rude.
00:08:51.630 --> 00:08:52.505
Yes.
00:08:52.588 --> 00:08:54.228
- Okay. 'Cause you splay out.
- All right.
00:08:54.296 --> 00:08:57.421
And then your seat is in, like,
the lap of the guy behind you.
00:08:57.505 --> 00:09:00.421
- So just be considerate of everybody.
- I'll stay up. Thank you.
00:09:01.255 --> 00:09:02.296
Timber.
00:09:11.005 --> 00:09:12.463
Oh, excuse me.
00:09:12.546 --> 00:09:13.963
- Hi.
- Hello. Hi.
00:09:14.046 --> 00:09:16.546
Could I please have some earplugs?
00:09:16.630 --> 00:09:17.630
Yes.
00:09:17.671 --> 00:09:18.880
For nine dollars.
00:09:19.338 --> 00:09:21.755
Nine dollars? For earplugs?
00:09:21.838 --> 00:09:22.838
Yes.
00:09:23.046 --> 00:09:24.838
That's okay. I'll just...
00:09:25.380 --> 00:09:26.630
I'll just use my peanuts.
00:09:28.380 --> 00:09:29.380
I'll just...
00:09:54.088 --> 00:09:55.088
Wow.
00:10:11.296 --> 00:10:12.380
Oh...
00:10:13.880 --> 00:10:14.880
Mm.
00:10:21.963 --> 00:10:23.796
A fellow insomniac, I see.
00:10:23.880 --> 00:10:24.880
Jesus.
00:10:24.963 --> 00:10:26.213
Yes. I...
00:10:26.796 --> 00:10:28.588
Yep. I know, right?
00:10:28.671 --> 00:10:30.796
I just cannot sleep on these things.
00:10:31.046 --> 00:10:32.671
So what brings you across the pond?
00:10:32.755 --> 00:10:35.713
Actually, it's my... it's my honeymoon.
00:10:35.796 --> 00:10:37.296
Oh. Congratulations.
00:10:37.380 --> 00:10:39.171
- Thank you.
- Where's your husband?
00:10:39.755 --> 00:10:40.755
Dead.
00:10:41.171 --> 00:10:43.713
Asleep. He's dead... dead asleep.
00:10:43.796 --> 00:10:45.838
We've actually been married for 15 years,
00:10:45.921 --> 00:10:49.338
but we just have been very, very,
very, very busy.
00:10:49.588 --> 00:10:52.838
Then a toast to the whirlwind
that is your life.
00:10:54.046 --> 00:10:55.088
Yes.
00:10:55.171 --> 00:10:56.338
- Sorry, ma'am.
- Oh, yes!
00:10:56.421 --> 00:10:58.380
The bar is for
first class passengers only.
00:10:58.463 --> 00:11:00.880
Of course. Of course it is.
I'm so sorry, yes.
00:11:00.963 --> 00:11:04.130
I will head back to the lower class cabin
00:11:04.213 --> 00:11:06.421
and sit where I should and, uh...
00:11:06.963 --> 00:11:07.963
shovel some coal.
00:11:08.005 --> 00:11:09.130
She's my guest.
00:11:09.213 --> 00:11:11.880
Unfortunately, sir,
she'd need her own first class ticket.
00:11:11.963 --> 00:11:13.296
Charles Cavendish.
00:11:14.463 --> 00:11:15.671
I'm so sorry, sir.
00:11:19.588 --> 00:11:20.588
Whoa!
00:11:21.505 --> 00:11:22.963
Charles Cavendish?
00:11:23.505 --> 00:11:24.421
Is that your real name?
00:11:24.505 --> 00:11:26.005
I'm afraid so.
00:11:26.088 --> 00:11:28.671
I mean, that sounds like
it just fell right out of a...
00:11:28.755 --> 00:11:29.921
mystery novel.
00:11:30.630 --> 00:11:32.463
And which character would I be?
00:11:33.546 --> 00:11:35.880
Name like that,
you'd have to be the bad guy.
00:11:37.546 --> 00:11:38.546
Well...
00:11:39.213 --> 00:11:40.421
here's to the bad guys.
00:11:56.838 --> 00:11:59.088
- Okay, so your fiancée...
- Hm.
00:11:59.796 --> 00:12:00.796
...leaves you...
00:12:01.796 --> 00:12:05.130
...for your elderly uncle...
00:12:05.213 --> 00:12:07.755
Will you two kindly shut up?
00:12:07.838 --> 00:12:09.005
Oh, be quiet.
00:12:09.505 --> 00:12:12.588
Or we shall tell everyone about the ferret
you've smuggled in here.
00:12:14.046 --> 00:12:16.921
The whole thing is tawdry, I know.
00:12:17.005 --> 00:12:18.981
- Tawdry.
- He desired my betrothed,
00:12:19.005 --> 00:12:21.671
and Uncle Malcolm always gets
what he wants.
00:12:21.755 --> 00:12:23.713
Malcolm. Uncle Malcolm.
00:12:24.296 --> 00:12:25.338
- Quince.
- Uncle...
00:12:26.130 --> 00:12:29.463
Malcolm Quince is your uncle?
That billionaire?
00:12:29.796 --> 00:12:31.796
- That's the one.
- Oh, my gosh.
00:12:32.546 --> 00:12:34.963
He looks just like this...
00:12:35.755 --> 00:12:39.296
if this wrinkled olive had $70 billion.
00:12:40.213 --> 00:12:41.546
Seventy billion dollars.
00:12:41.630 --> 00:12:44.213
I'm traveling to Monaco with the newlyweds
on his yacht
00:12:44.296 --> 00:12:45.838
for the Grand Prix this weekend.
00:12:46.171 --> 00:12:48.005
Why? Why would you do that?
00:12:48.088 --> 00:12:50.328
Why would you go on their yacht
after what they just did?
00:12:50.380 --> 00:12:52.296
Because I'm English, Mrs. Spitz.
00:12:52.963 --> 00:12:55.171
- I'm a glutton for social masochism.
- Oh.
00:12:55.255 --> 00:12:59.880
And I plan on getting blind drunk
and ruining the festivities.
00:13:01.171 --> 00:13:03.046
Okay. I support that.
00:13:03.380 --> 00:13:05.213
- I say, Audrey...
- Hm.
00:13:06.255 --> 00:13:08.880
Do you and your husband
have plans this weekend?
00:13:13.713 --> 00:13:16.171
You made a joke. That's...
00:13:17.796 --> 00:13:20.838
Holy shit! This plane has a bar?
00:13:20.921 --> 00:13:22.963
Sir, this is the first class lounge.
00:13:23.046 --> 00:13:25.005
I'm gonna have to ask you
to return to your seat.
00:13:25.088 --> 00:13:26.421
There's bars on planes now?
00:13:26.505 --> 00:13:28.421
Planes have bars now. In first class.
00:13:28.505 --> 00:13:31.505
This is... Man, I wish my mother was
still alive to see this.
00:13:31.588 --> 00:13:33.171
She was an alcoholic, but a nice one.
00:13:33.255 --> 00:13:35.772
Sir, if you don't return to your seat,
I'm gonna have to call...
00:13:35.796 --> 00:13:36.796
The cops.
00:13:37.255 --> 00:13:38.255
So that's my wife
00:13:38.296 --> 00:13:41.838
talking to that handsome guy over there
with the one chin.
00:13:42.171 --> 00:13:46.046
So I'm gonna go break that shit up,
possibly grab myself a beer,
00:13:46.130 --> 00:13:47.421
maybe you a Xanax.
00:13:49.505 --> 00:13:51.796
...the wine on board is worth a letter.
00:13:52.630 --> 00:13:54.796
People don't write letters
anymore, do they?
00:13:55.338 --> 00:13:58.421
- Such a pity.
- It's just, it's all so tactical.
00:13:58.963 --> 00:14:00.338
Yeah, that's true.
00:14:01.796 --> 00:14:02.671
Hey!
00:14:02.755 --> 00:14:03.588
Nick.
00:14:03.671 --> 00:14:06.380
- How are you?
- Hi, honey. You're awake.
00:14:06.838 --> 00:14:08.231
- Was your nappie good?
- Been awake.
00:14:08.255 --> 00:14:09.855
- I was looking for you.
- I know, I'm...
00:14:09.921 --> 00:14:12.296
- Well, I met this lovely gentleman.
- Oh, yeah?
00:14:12.380 --> 00:14:14.755
I'd like you to meet Charles Cavendish.
00:14:14.838 --> 00:14:16.421
- He's a lord. Right?
- How do you do?
00:14:16.505 --> 00:14:18.588
- A lord?
- Well, actually a viscount.
00:14:18.671 --> 00:14:21.088
- Oh.
- Although viscounts are addressed as Lord,
00:14:21.171 --> 00:14:23.713
which probably accounts
for the lovely Audrey's confusion.
00:14:23.796 --> 00:14:25.921
There you go.
She gets confused with me too.
00:14:26.005 --> 00:14:28.546
Sometimes I'm the king.
Sometimes I'm Daddy.
00:14:29.130 --> 00:14:31.546
So... can I get a Labatts, brother?
00:14:32.505 --> 00:14:33.796
That'll be 17 euro.
00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:35.130
No, no, no. Please.
00:14:35.213 --> 00:14:36.380
The beer is on me.
00:14:36.463 --> 00:14:39.171
I'm not just taking a beer
from somebody I don't know.
00:14:39.255 --> 00:14:40.255
Oh, my gosh.
00:14:40.338 --> 00:14:44.338
And I do hope you take advantage
of my other offer.
00:14:44.421 --> 00:14:46.421
Hey. I'm not just gonna stand here
00:14:46.505 --> 00:14:49.130
while you offer to pay me
to have sex with my wife.
00:14:49.213 --> 00:14:51.213
But out of curiosity,
how much are we talking?
00:14:51.296 --> 00:14:52.463
- Great.
- I wouldn't do it.
00:14:52.546 --> 00:14:54.171
- Hey, listen to me.
- What?
00:14:54.255 --> 00:14:58.130
He is inviting us to spend the weekend
with him on a yacht with his family.
00:14:58.213 --> 00:14:59.630
Well, we have plans.
00:15:00.088 --> 00:15:01.630
On a bus.
00:15:01.713 --> 00:15:05.296
A bus that is bound
for the idyllic village of San Grigio,
00:15:05.380 --> 00:15:09.630
where we can watch a demonstration
on how they age ham.
00:15:09.713 --> 00:15:11.963
- Let me explain something.
- Tell me what I'm missing.
00:15:12.046 --> 00:15:13.086
- Are you kidding me?
- Go.
00:15:13.546 --> 00:15:16.421
We would be sailing
around European harbors.
00:15:16.505 --> 00:15:18.671
- Yeah.
- Okay? We'd be eating fresh fish.
00:15:18.755 --> 00:15:20.505
- Right.
- And we'd be drinking wine.
00:15:20.588 --> 00:15:21.963
- Hmm.
- We'd be together.
00:15:22.046 --> 00:15:22.921
That's nice.
00:15:23.005 --> 00:15:24.838
- They have a chef.
- They have a chef.
00:15:24.921 --> 00:15:26.630
His name is Maurice. Maurice?
00:15:26.713 --> 00:15:28.296
- Maurice, yes.
- Maurice.
00:15:28.713 --> 00:15:30.546
"Some people call me Maurice."
00:15:32.380 --> 00:15:33.380
Remember that one?
00:15:34.130 --> 00:15:35.730
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.
00:15:36.671 --> 00:15:37.880
I gotcha.
00:15:37.963 --> 00:15:38.963
So listen...
00:15:39.005 --> 00:15:40.130
What are you doing?
00:15:40.213 --> 00:15:43.838
Why would two adults come into a bathroom
on an airplane?
00:15:43.921 --> 00:15:46.421
Honey, come on.
To have a private conversation.
00:15:46.505 --> 00:15:47.588
Ah, that's funny.
00:15:47.671 --> 00:15:49.630
Listen. I'm just trying to understand
00:15:49.713 --> 00:15:53.463
why you are turning down
the opportunity of a lifetime.
00:15:53.546 --> 00:15:55.171
Because I don't trust that guy.
00:15:55.255 --> 00:15:57.671
- Why?
- 'Cause instincts.
00:15:57.755 --> 00:15:58.588
Your instincts?
00:15:58.671 --> 00:16:01.151
The same ones that told you
you were about to get laid in here?
00:16:01.630 --> 00:16:02.505
I'm not getting laid?
00:16:02.588 --> 00:16:06.421
Come on! When is the next time you and I
are gonna be able to get on a yacht?
00:16:06.505 --> 00:16:09.380
I'm just saying, all those times
we're eating ham sandwiches
00:16:09.463 --> 00:16:12.255
and you're always asking,
"How do they age the ham?"
00:16:12.338 --> 00:16:14.564
- Never had that...
- We'll never ask that question again
00:16:14.588 --> 00:16:16.731
- because we'll be in San Grigio.
- That never happened.
00:16:16.755 --> 00:16:19.921
They'll give us the reason
on how they do it so perfectly.
00:16:20.421 --> 00:16:21.880
Okay. You wanna know the truth?
00:16:21.963 --> 00:16:23.338
- You're breaking my heart.
- Why?
00:16:23.421 --> 00:16:24.796
I feel like a schmuck
00:16:24.880 --> 00:16:28.421
because I've been working my ass off
and saving money, and now you know why.
00:16:28.505 --> 00:16:31.088
It was to take us on this trip.
And I know I'm not a duke.
00:16:31.171 --> 00:16:33.005
I understand. He's a viscount, but...
00:16:33.088 --> 00:16:35.421
- I don't even know what that is.
- I know. It's okay.
00:16:36.088 --> 00:16:37.088
I'm sorry.
00:16:37.130 --> 00:16:38.005
I love you.
00:16:38.088 --> 00:16:40.505
- I got lost. I got swept up in it.
- I know.
00:16:40.588 --> 00:16:42.908
But it's okay. We're gonna do the bus.
It's gonna be great.
00:16:42.963 --> 00:16:44.683
We'll do the bus.
You're gonna love the bus!
00:16:49.338 --> 00:16:53.255
Hey! Hey, Gonzales.
Where is our welcome glass of champagne?
00:16:53.338 --> 00:16:55.138
- We were promised...
- Summer hit me!
00:16:55.213 --> 00:16:57.173
...a glass of champagne when we arrived...
00:16:57.213 --> 00:17:00.380
Zip it! Both of you! Will you stop that?
00:17:00.463 --> 00:17:01.963
I know you hear me!
00:17:03.296 --> 00:17:04.130
Shut up!
00:17:04.213 --> 00:17:05.853
Let's do the... We'll do the yacht, okay?
00:17:05.921 --> 00:17:06.963
- Thank you.
- All right.
00:17:07.046 --> 00:17:08.380
Cavendish!
00:17:08.463 --> 00:17:10.796
We've changed our minds. We're gonna come.
00:17:11.255 --> 00:17:12.255
Splendid.
00:17:32.838 --> 00:17:34.064
- Hello.
- Bienvenidos.
00:17:34.088 --> 00:17:35.463
Thank you.
00:17:35.546 --> 00:17:37.130
- Thank you.
- De nada.
00:17:37.213 --> 00:17:38.921
- This is amazing.
- Señor.
00:17:39.005 --> 00:17:40.421
I thought it was gonna be bigger.
00:17:40.505 --> 00:17:41.380
- What?
- I did.
00:17:41.463 --> 00:17:43.505
- Bigger than this?
- I really did.
00:17:43.838 --> 00:17:46.130
I bet that's Cavendish's ex-fiancée
00:17:46.213 --> 00:17:47.963
who left him for his uncle.
00:17:48.046 --> 00:17:51.671
Oh, okay.
I'm starving. Where's that Maurice dude?
00:17:51.755 --> 00:17:54.296
Uh, I don't think
we're supposed to talk to him directly.
00:17:54.380 --> 00:17:56.296
- Let's wait for dinner.
- Which is when?
00:17:56.380 --> 00:17:59.338
I don't... Honey, it's later.
I don't know. It's Europe, okay?
00:17:59.421 --> 00:18:02.671
The bus observes
a standard American dinnertime, so...
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:05.338
Oh, baby, this is like a painting.
00:18:05.421 --> 00:18:07.901
- No, it's nice...
- It just doesn't look real.
00:18:07.963 --> 00:18:09.963
- It's...
- Oh, my God!
00:18:10.046 --> 00:18:12.046
Wow. Look. She's so pretty.
00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:14.050
- Very pretty.
- She's that kind of pretty
00:18:14.130 --> 00:18:16.338
that you don't really know
what country she's from.
00:18:16.421 --> 00:18:18.505
I mean, I can't tell. Can you tell?
00:18:18.588 --> 00:18:19.505
Japan.
00:18:19.588 --> 00:18:22.463
Ah, yes, yes. You see? See?
She can hear you.
00:18:22.546 --> 00:18:24.588
She's not a... not on television right now.
00:18:24.671 --> 00:18:27.005
- You're watching a real person.
- Shh.
00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:29.380
Crashing the party with civilians.
00:18:29.463 --> 00:18:30.505
Are you drunk?
00:18:30.588 --> 00:18:32.380
It's only noon, Suzi, darling.
00:18:33.213 --> 00:18:34.255
Of course I'm drunk.
00:18:34.338 --> 00:18:35.588
So, where is your beloved,
00:18:35.671 --> 00:18:37.296
Sir Liver Spots?
00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:38.588
Malcolm is not here yet.
00:18:38.671 --> 00:18:40.463
You know how he likes to make an entrance.
00:18:40.838 --> 00:18:44.088
You'd know more about Malcolm's entrances
than anyone at this point.
00:18:47.713 --> 00:18:50.353
- Great to meet you. You're terrific.
- Nice to meet you. Pleasure.
00:18:50.380 --> 00:18:52.921
I'm sorry you had to see that.
00:18:53.005 --> 00:18:55.064
- Actually, I started to like you.
- She deserved that.
00:18:55.088 --> 00:18:57.838
- Very good. You came on strong.
- She is not nice. You're hurt.
00:18:57.921 --> 00:18:58.755
Charles.
00:18:58.838 --> 00:19:00.671
So glad you could make it.
00:19:01.255 --> 00:19:03.213
And you brought guests.
00:19:03.296 --> 00:19:05.588
Allow me to introduce my cousin, Tobey.
00:19:05.671 --> 00:19:08.630
Malcolm's only son
and the man Suzi would have left me for,
00:19:08.713 --> 00:19:10.073
had he not been a screaming queen.
00:19:10.505 --> 00:19:13.005
- Okay.
- Thank you for having us aboard, sir.
00:19:13.088 --> 00:19:14.296
Yeah. Hey, really nice.
00:19:14.380 --> 00:19:15.713
It's my father's boat.
00:19:15.796 --> 00:19:19.380
Oh, well, her father, uh, let me use
his lawnmower one time,
00:19:19.463 --> 00:19:21.505
- so I know how that goes.
- Yeah.
00:19:22.921 --> 00:19:24.088
How do you know Charles?
00:19:24.171 --> 00:19:26.671
Oh. We go back to six hours ago?
00:19:26.755 --> 00:19:28.296
- Yes.
- We met on an airplane.
00:19:28.380 --> 00:19:30.005
He was very nice to include us.
00:19:30.088 --> 00:19:31.963
We have a spare cabin for them, I assume.
00:19:32.755 --> 00:19:36.421
Well, seeing as you have so much history,
I'm sure we can find some room.
00:19:36.505 --> 00:19:39.064
Thank you. Thanks for the warm welcome.
Appreciate it. After you.
00:19:39.088 --> 00:19:41.897
- Up here? This keeps going up?
- Really nice of you. So we go this way?
00:19:41.921 --> 00:19:44.338
- Wow.
- There's another deck, hun. Another deck!
00:19:44.755 --> 00:19:47.463
"Sex-crazed oldster Malcolm Quince
00:19:47.546 --> 00:19:51.838
wed 23-year-old ski instructor
Suzi Nakamura this week."
00:19:51.921 --> 00:19:54.338
- Mm-hmm.
- "Why would the Tokyo-born tart
00:19:54.421 --> 00:19:56.588
trade downhills for dentures?
00:19:56.671 --> 00:20:01.046
Perhaps the $70 billion
his son, Tobey, was set to inherit."
00:20:01.130 --> 00:20:02.713
- Wow.
- Oh, my God, baby.
00:20:03.213 --> 00:20:06.088
We are literally right in the middle
of a TMZ story.
00:20:06.171 --> 00:20:10.296
You were right about this yacht.
Their shaving cream smells like coconuts.
00:20:10.380 --> 00:20:12.463
- It's incredible.
- Sorry.
00:20:12.546 --> 00:20:14.255
You're allergic to rich people now?
00:20:14.338 --> 00:20:18.130
No. Stop it! I'm allergic to stuff.
Would you please grab me the Claritin?
00:20:18.213 --> 00:20:19.546
Yes. Here.
00:20:20.921 --> 00:20:24.130
Baby, that's Allegra.
You said you packed Claritin.
00:20:24.213 --> 00:20:25.213
That's the same thing.
00:20:25.255 --> 00:20:27.380
No, honey. Allegra doesn't work for me.
00:20:27.838 --> 00:20:28.838
Oh.
00:20:29.380 --> 00:20:32.838
Okay. When we get to Monaco,
I'll get you your Claritin.
00:20:32.921 --> 00:20:35.380
It's not... It's gonna be called
something else over there,
00:20:35.463 --> 00:20:38.171
I'm telling you.
Just remember, we... The blue box.
00:20:38.255 --> 00:20:42.588
You know, "Allegra" in, uh, French
means the same shit as Claritin.
00:20:44.630 --> 00:20:45.755
- Smile.
- Yes.
00:20:45.838 --> 00:20:48.380
You need to stop drinking. You're a drunk.
00:20:48.463 --> 00:20:49.505
Look at him.
00:20:49.588 --> 00:20:52.963
Why is he torturing himself like that?
I mean, she's already married to Malcolm.
00:20:53.338 --> 00:20:55.588
I don't know what else
he's expecting her to say to him.
00:20:55.671 --> 00:20:57.505
She's saying he's a cad...
00:20:57.921 --> 00:20:59.796
...and he's saying she's a tramp,
00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:01.046
and they're both right.
00:21:01.338 --> 00:21:03.213
How do I know you? You're...
00:21:03.296 --> 00:21:04.463
You're an actress, right?
00:21:04.546 --> 00:21:06.505
All women are actresses, dear.
00:21:06.921 --> 00:21:09.046
I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.
00:21:09.630 --> 00:21:10.630
Grace Ballard.
00:21:11.088 --> 00:21:12.463
Oh!
00:21:12.546 --> 00:21:13.713
My God!
00:21:14.213 --> 00:21:17.630
That's... This is incr...
I'm a massive fan of yours!
00:21:17.713 --> 00:21:19.713
- Like, number one!
- Oh.
00:21:19.796 --> 00:21:21.546
- This isn't...
- I know. It's incredible.
00:21:21.630 --> 00:21:25.130
I am Nick Spitz. This is my wife, Allison.
00:21:25.213 --> 00:21:27.338
- I can't believe...
- Aud... Audrey. I'm Audrey.
00:21:27.421 --> 00:21:28.921
- I said Audrey!
- No, you didn't.
00:21:29.005 --> 00:21:31.505
Allison is the character
she played in the...
00:21:31.588 --> 00:21:33.880
Remember the one?
We watched it together.
00:21:33.963 --> 00:21:36.147
Where it's a beautiful lady,
it turns out she's a robot?
00:21:36.171 --> 00:21:37.731
- And there's the bra...
- She's the robot!
00:21:37.755 --> 00:21:39.880
- There's guns coming out of your bra.
- Yes!
00:21:39.963 --> 00:21:41.963
Sex Machina. My breakout role.
00:21:42.046 --> 00:21:45.171
So good.
Look at this, right in front of us!
00:21:45.255 --> 00:21:47.338
I feel like I got kicked
in the belly right now!
00:21:47.421 --> 00:21:49.255
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
- I lost my wind!
00:21:49.546 --> 00:21:51.546
Let's go put on some sunscreen
'cause it's...
00:21:51.630 --> 00:21:53.350
You already put the sunscreen
on me earlier.
00:21:53.380 --> 00:21:55.713
No, we're gonna... we're gonna
reapply the sunscreen.
00:21:55.796 --> 00:21:57.564
- We're putting more on?
- We're gonna reapply.
00:21:57.588 --> 00:21:58.796
All right. We'll put more on.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:01.022
- So nice to meet you.
- I can't believe... This is great!
00:22:01.046 --> 00:22:02.766
- He's so excited.
- We're on the same ship!
00:22:05.255 --> 00:22:08.130
Look at that. It says that her last name
isn't even really Ballard.
00:22:08.213 --> 00:22:09.255
Well, so what?
00:22:09.838 --> 00:22:11.718
How do you just come out
looking that beautiful?
00:22:12.171 --> 00:22:14.380
- Oh, she's had it all done.
- What?
00:22:14.713 --> 00:22:17.005
Lips, nose, chin.
00:22:17.088 --> 00:22:18.088
No!
00:22:18.171 --> 00:22:20.130
People really get their chins done?
00:22:20.213 --> 00:22:21.588
- Mm-hmm.
- Huh!
00:22:21.671 --> 00:22:23.963
That was so directed at me,
it was disgusting.
00:22:24.046 --> 00:22:26.106
You want me to get my chin done.
And I'm not...
00:22:26.130 --> 00:22:28.880
I love you for who you are.
Although it's an option.
00:22:28.963 --> 00:22:31.106
Would you guys excuse me for a moment?
00:22:31.130 --> 00:22:33.713
- I should say hello to the Maharajah.
- Absolutely.
00:22:33.796 --> 00:22:35.897
- Everyone's saying it.
- Do you believe we're on a boat
00:22:35.921 --> 00:22:38.880
where the guy said, "I'm gonna go have
a conversation with the Maharajah?"
00:22:38.963 --> 00:22:40.671
- That was big.
- Is this real?
00:22:40.755 --> 00:22:41.588
Excuse me, ma'am?
00:22:41.671 --> 00:22:44.255
Is there a Maurice here?
'Cause I'm hungry as hell.
00:22:44.338 --> 00:22:45.463
Yes, sir. He's preparing.
00:22:45.546 --> 00:22:47.346
He's preparing. Okay.
Is he ever gonna finish?
00:22:47.671 --> 00:22:49.588
Please tell Maurice
to step on the gas.
00:22:51.130 --> 00:22:52.880
- Oh, honey, honey, honey.
- Mm-hmm?
00:22:52.963 --> 00:22:56.630
Okay, um, don't look right now,
but there's a really scary man
00:22:56.713 --> 00:22:58.088
- with an eye patch...
- Mm-hmm?
00:22:58.171 --> 00:23:00.088
...who's just staring right at us.
00:23:00.171 --> 00:23:02.130
I said don't look and you can't not do it.
00:23:02.213 --> 00:23:03.933
You say eye patch and scary,
I'm gonna look.
00:23:03.963 --> 00:23:05.723
I'm sorry.
It's physically impossible not to.
00:23:05.796 --> 00:23:07.588
All right. Okay.
He's walking at us.
00:23:07.671 --> 00:23:09.213
- Honey, honey.
- Play it cool.
00:23:09.296 --> 00:23:11.439
- Hey, fellas. What's up? How are ya?
- Hey. Hi.
00:23:11.463 --> 00:23:13.505
- Who let you two on board?
- Excuse me?
00:23:13.588 --> 00:23:14.880
What is happening right now?
00:23:14.963 --> 00:23:16.963
They're my guests, Colonel.
00:23:17.046 --> 00:23:19.421
- This weekend is for family only.
- Really?
00:23:19.505 --> 00:23:21.588
The last time I checked,
you're not family.
00:23:21.963 --> 00:23:24.171
Neither is Soviet Chewbacca over there.
00:23:24.838 --> 00:23:25.838
Nick, Audrey.
00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:27.560
- Yeah, you're not family for sure.
- Okay.
00:23:27.588 --> 00:23:30.296
Jesus. So I see one of them
was packing heat.
00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:33.213
- Was I supposed to bring a gun?
- Oh, I doubt it's even loaded.
00:23:33.296 --> 00:23:36.713
That's Colonel Charles Ulenga
of the Namibian Defense Force.
00:23:36.796 --> 00:23:37.838
Malcolm's best friend.
00:23:37.921 --> 00:23:40.296
He saved his life
from a bombing attempt in '94.
00:23:40.755 --> 00:23:42.380
That's where he lost his eye and his...
00:23:42.463 --> 00:23:44.130
And his dick? Did he lose his dick?
00:23:44.213 --> 00:23:47.005
- Honey, why?
- I thought that maybe it was his dick.
00:23:47.505 --> 00:23:51.338
And that's Sergei Radjenko,
former Spetsnaz, and his bodyguard.
00:23:52.005 --> 00:23:53.796
Crazy eye patch guy needs a bodyguard?
00:23:55.130 --> 00:23:56.588
Whoa! The hand!
00:23:56.671 --> 00:23:59.338
There's a hand.
It's not on his body anymore.
00:24:00.213 --> 00:24:02.213
Oh, look at this.
Now he's smoking his dick!
00:24:02.255 --> 00:24:04.880
- He's smoking his dick!
- No. Oh, God. Would you stop it?
00:24:04.963 --> 00:24:07.255
I'm just having fun. It's a boat.
00:24:08.213 --> 00:24:09.573
Can I ask you a question?
00:24:09.630 --> 00:24:12.630
What exactly... is a maharajah?
00:24:12.713 --> 00:24:14.005
Why don't you ask him yourself?
00:24:14.088 --> 00:24:14.921
No.
00:24:15.005 --> 00:24:17.713
Vik, I have some guests
I'd like you to meet.
00:24:17.796 --> 00:24:19.421
Nick and Audrey Spitz,
00:24:20.046 --> 00:24:24.671
I present the exalted Maharajah
Vikram Shivan Govindan of Mumbai.
00:24:24.755 --> 00:24:26.921
- Oh, my gosh. It's so...
- Hey.
00:24:28.588 --> 00:24:29.963
So nice to...
00:24:32.463 --> 00:24:33.863
- Nice...
- We're...
00:24:36.755 --> 00:24:40.421
Yo-ho-ho! That was very hilarious. Ah!
00:24:40.505 --> 00:24:42.213
With all the bowin' and shit.
00:24:42.296 --> 00:24:45.088
You know, when a brown person bows,
white people bow back, innit?
00:24:45.171 --> 00:24:47.046
- Up high. How about...
- I'm sorry.
00:24:47.130 --> 00:24:48.755
He's giving you... Respect!
00:24:48.838 --> 00:24:51.296
- That was very good. Very funny.
- That was a joke.
00:24:51.380 --> 00:24:53.296
Audrey has a question
she'd like to ask you.
00:24:53.588 --> 00:24:55.005
Let me hear it.
00:24:55.088 --> 00:24:59.588
Oh. We were actually wondering,
what exactly is a maharajah?
00:24:59.671 --> 00:25:01.880
How do you...
Do you have to go to a school for that?
00:25:01.963 --> 00:25:03.546
Yeah, I was born into the game.
00:25:03.630 --> 00:25:05.713
- Oh, you're born into it.
- Okay, born into it.
00:25:06.796 --> 00:25:07.880
What do you do, Nick?
00:25:07.963 --> 00:25:10.088
- I am...
- Nick's a detective.
00:25:10.171 --> 00:25:12.463
Tight! You ever wet up anyone?
00:25:12.546 --> 00:25:14.755
- What's that?
- Yeah, you know, like drill,
00:25:14.838 --> 00:25:17.546
bust a cap, waste. You're like...
00:25:17.630 --> 00:25:19.671
- He's funny. No, never shot anybody.
- No! God!
00:25:19.755 --> 00:25:20.630
Which is a good thing.
00:25:20.713 --> 00:25:23.713
Nick is... Well, it's just that
you're a terrible shot.
00:25:23.796 --> 00:25:24.963
He's a terrible shot.
00:25:25.046 --> 00:25:26.838
He barely got out of the academy
00:25:26.921 --> 00:25:30.796
because he couldn't even meet, like,
his minimum marksmanship skills.
00:25:31.880 --> 00:25:33.796
Audrey is lactose intolerant.
00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:35.505
- She also burps in her sleep.
- What?
00:25:35.588 --> 00:25:38.505
I just thought 'cause we are discussing
each other's flaws right now,
00:25:38.588 --> 00:25:39.963
you wanted to put it on the table.
00:25:40.046 --> 00:25:43.213
I'm sorry I... Listen, I didn't think
that was a sensitive subject...
00:25:43.296 --> 00:25:46.130
It's not a sensitive subject,
I just don't like you telling
00:25:46.213 --> 00:25:48.630
- everybody we meet.
- I'm sorry I brought it up. Never mind.
00:26:17.963 --> 00:26:20.255
- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at this.
00:26:20.338 --> 00:26:22.380
- Look at this crazy.
- Wow. Babe.
00:26:22.463 --> 00:26:24.963
Well, this room is as nice
as the way you look.
00:26:25.046 --> 00:26:28.463
- You look stunning.
- Thank you, honey. That's so sweet.
00:26:30.588 --> 00:26:31.630
What?
00:26:31.713 --> 00:26:33.088
Everybody's in tuxedos.
00:26:33.171 --> 00:26:35.647
- I wish you'd let me pack.
- I shoulda wore socks. You're right.
00:26:35.671 --> 00:26:38.630
- Yo! Juan Carlos!
- Hey!
00:26:38.713 --> 00:26:41.046
- Oh, good luck, man.
- Hey.
00:26:41.130 --> 00:26:44.380
Hi. Hi, there.
What are we wishing you good luck for?
00:26:44.463 --> 00:26:47.921
Well, he is racing
in the Monaco Grand Prix tomorrow.
00:26:48.005 --> 00:26:49.796
Wow. That's big.
00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:53.005
Juan Carlos Rivera,
let me introduce you to...
00:26:55.171 --> 00:26:57.546
Steve and Lady Steve.
00:26:58.130 --> 00:26:59.189
- What?
- No.
00:26:59.213 --> 00:27:01.130
- No, no.
- I mean, if you want.
00:27:01.213 --> 00:27:03.505
- Just met us once.
- Yeah, all right. I'm gonna...
00:27:03.588 --> 00:27:04.647
- I'm Audrey.
- ...go again.
00:27:04.671 --> 00:27:06.338
I'm Nick, and then we're the Spitzes.
00:27:06.421 --> 00:27:07.880
Juan Carlos, huh?
00:27:07.963 --> 00:27:09.046
Hey, Juan Carlos.
00:27:09.130 --> 00:27:10.421
So you're a race car driver.
00:27:11.046 --> 00:27:12.796
Good, yes.
00:27:13.130 --> 00:27:15.255
Wow. How do you
get into something like that?
00:27:15.588 --> 00:27:17.588
Uh, number one, yes.
00:27:18.046 --> 00:27:19.463
You don't speak English, do you?
00:27:20.546 --> 00:27:22.671
Uh, very fast. Very fast.
00:27:22.755 --> 00:27:24.130
- Huh? Welcome.
- Okay.
00:27:38.296 --> 00:27:39.338
What's that?
00:27:40.088 --> 00:27:42.463
That is the Quince dagger.
00:27:43.588 --> 00:27:46.463
Chinese steel,
jewels from across the Orient.
00:27:47.005 --> 00:27:49.421
A gift to the family from Marco Polo,
00:27:49.755 --> 00:27:50.963
or so the legend says.
00:27:51.046 --> 00:27:52.046
God.
00:27:52.296 --> 00:27:54.796
Nick's grandmother gave us
a toaster from Sears.
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:56.880
So the legend says.
00:28:08.338 --> 00:28:09.963
Oh, look.
00:28:10.046 --> 00:28:12.046
Here comes Daddy.
00:28:13.838 --> 00:28:14.838
What's that?
00:28:26.338 --> 00:28:27.588
Captain Wong,
00:28:28.046 --> 00:28:30.546
I'd like to address my guests privately.
00:28:30.796 --> 00:28:31.796
Certainly.
00:28:41.005 --> 00:28:42.005
My friends,
00:28:42.713 --> 00:28:45.380
welcome to the Mediterranean Queen.
00:28:45.463 --> 00:28:48.130
I can't tell you
how much it warms my heart
00:28:48.755 --> 00:28:50.963
that you have made this trip here
00:28:51.046 --> 00:28:52.921
to celebrate my nuptials.
00:28:53.005 --> 00:28:55.171
You will find, as you get older,
00:28:55.671 --> 00:28:57.796
that you begin to take stock of life.
00:28:59.338 --> 00:29:01.255
Not just where you've succeeded,
00:29:02.213 --> 00:29:03.505
but where you've failed.
00:29:05.255 --> 00:29:06.255
Who...
00:29:06.838 --> 00:29:07.838
you've failed.
00:29:15.213 --> 00:29:16.213
Suzi,
00:29:17.088 --> 00:29:18.380
my darling bride,
00:29:18.921 --> 00:29:21.963
who has so much of her life ahead of her.
00:29:23.796 --> 00:29:27.755
Grace, who shines so brightly
on the silver screen.
00:29:33.755 --> 00:29:36.005
Juan Carlos, my godson,
00:29:36.630 --> 00:29:39.963
who strives to lead my race team
to victory.
00:29:42.838 --> 00:29:43.838
You...
00:29:46.296 --> 00:29:47.296
Who are you?
00:29:48.713 --> 00:29:51.296
- Oh. Hey. We're the Spitzes.
- We're the...
00:29:51.671 --> 00:29:52.671
The who?
00:29:52.921 --> 00:29:55.463
Uh, I'm Audrey, and Nick Spitz.
00:29:55.838 --> 00:29:57.171
- Great.
- We love the boat.
00:29:57.255 --> 00:29:59.380
- A boat? I mean, this is a ship.
- It's beyond.
00:29:59.463 --> 00:30:01.814
- Never seen anything like this.
- Eric Lamonsoff has a boat.
00:30:01.838 --> 00:30:03.438
We go fishing. He's got a Boston Whaler.
00:30:03.463 --> 00:30:04.505
This is gigantic.
00:30:04.588 --> 00:30:06.296
They're my guests, Uncle.
00:30:06.588 --> 00:30:08.255
You brought guests?
00:30:08.338 --> 00:30:10.880
Well, you did take my plus-one.
00:30:11.588 --> 00:30:13.588
I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave?
00:30:13.671 --> 00:30:16.106
We could... I don't know
how we're getting out of here, though.
00:30:16.130 --> 00:30:18.921
We're... We're out to sea.
Is there an Uber for boats?
00:30:19.005 --> 00:30:21.213
- Out... Out of the room, Nick.
- Out of the room?
00:30:21.296 --> 00:30:22.896
We can go out of the room, absolutely...
00:30:22.921 --> 00:30:23.921
No.
00:30:24.380 --> 00:30:26.005
That won't be necessary.
00:30:26.338 --> 00:30:28.421
- Okay. So we'll stick around.
- So we stay. Okay.
00:30:29.213 --> 00:30:30.796
My nephew, Charles,
00:30:31.546 --> 00:30:33.963
who always finds a way
to keep me on my toes.
00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:39.796
My friend, the Colonel,
who's kept me safe these many years.
00:30:40.755 --> 00:30:45.963
Vikram, whose family fortunes have
always been intertwined with my own.
00:30:50.380 --> 00:30:51.963
And my Tobias.
00:30:52.921 --> 00:30:55.005
All I ever wanted was a son,
00:30:55.921 --> 00:30:57.213
and here you are.
00:30:58.005 --> 00:30:59.505
My boy.
00:31:03.463 --> 00:31:07.088
I've spoken to all of you
about your position in my will.
00:31:07.755 --> 00:31:12.005
I have thought long and hard
about what each of you is truly worth,
00:31:13.046 --> 00:31:15.171
and I've come to this conclusion.
00:31:16.380 --> 00:31:18.796
You are all leeches.
00:31:19.588 --> 00:31:20.671
Repugnant.
00:31:21.213 --> 00:31:22.255
Blood fat.
00:31:22.713 --> 00:31:27.255
Suckling on the tit of my good work
for so many years.
00:31:29.213 --> 00:31:30.546
You repulse me.
00:31:34.463 --> 00:31:36.546
Can't get this on a bus, baby.
00:31:36.630 --> 00:31:38.088
- This is incredible.
- I know it.
00:31:38.171 --> 00:31:39.331
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
00:31:39.380 --> 00:31:42.130
Which is why I have drafted a new will.
00:31:43.380 --> 00:31:46.005
It states that my entire fortune
00:31:46.671 --> 00:31:48.046
goes to Suzi.
00:31:51.838 --> 00:31:53.588
From this moment forth,
00:31:54.005 --> 00:31:55.463
you are all cut off.
00:31:56.505 --> 00:31:57.796
Abandoned.
00:31:57.880 --> 00:32:01.005
And perhaps,
after I've done you this kindness,
00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:05.130
you will finally be able to make
something of yourselves...
00:32:05.755 --> 00:32:06.880
on your own.
00:32:15.421 --> 00:32:18.421
Apparently, she's had enough of my caviar.
00:32:19.546 --> 00:32:21.130
- That was funny.
- Shh.
00:32:21.213 --> 00:32:22.296
Darling.
00:32:26.130 --> 00:32:27.810
You could've signed this at home.
00:32:28.255 --> 00:32:30.838
Instead, you called us here
to humiliate us?
00:32:30.921 --> 00:32:33.380
Yes, and you came running.
00:32:33.463 --> 00:32:34.671
Father, don't do this.
00:32:35.588 --> 00:32:36.796
Or what?
00:32:38.796 --> 00:32:39.838
Yes.
00:32:40.380 --> 00:32:41.755
That's what I thought.
00:32:55.963 --> 00:32:58.213
Don't shoot me!
Don't shoot me, please!
00:32:58.588 --> 00:33:00.046
Daddy!
00:33:13.630 --> 00:33:14.755
You shot him!
00:33:14.838 --> 00:33:16.005
No!
00:33:16.088 --> 00:33:17.546
I saw someone stab him.
00:33:17.630 --> 00:33:19.088
- Who?
- I don't know.
00:33:19.171 --> 00:33:20.411
What happened? I heard a scr...
00:33:21.671 --> 00:33:22.713
Malcolm!
00:33:22.796 --> 00:33:24.046
Oh, God!
00:33:24.671 --> 00:33:26.671
Has anybody tried to revive him?
00:33:26.755 --> 00:33:29.755
He's got a knife plunged in his heart.
I don't think he's revivable.
00:33:29.838 --> 00:33:30.838
Should we pull it out?
00:33:30.921 --> 00:33:33.171
No. It's a foot-long knife.
It's just like pulling...
00:33:36.963 --> 00:33:38.130
Oh, God!
00:33:38.213 --> 00:33:41.546
Wow! You should have left the knife in
for the po-po, Colonel, man!
00:33:41.630 --> 00:33:43.147
- I'll put it back.
- Don't put it back.
00:33:46.796 --> 00:33:49.130
Oh! Will you listen to my husband?
He's a detective.
00:33:49.213 --> 00:33:51.213
Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer?
00:33:51.296 --> 00:33:55.838
Well, for starters, let's stop removing
and reinserting the murder weapon
00:33:55.921 --> 00:33:57.380
into the victim's chest.
00:33:57.463 --> 00:34:00.005
In fact, let's stop
touching the body altogether.
00:34:00.088 --> 00:34:01.713
He was gonna take it all away.
00:34:03.005 --> 00:34:04.213
For you.
00:34:05.630 --> 00:34:06.630
Yo...
00:34:07.296 --> 00:34:08.380
Did he sign it?
00:34:13.046 --> 00:34:13.880
No.
00:34:13.963 --> 00:34:14.880
Yes!
00:34:14.963 --> 00:34:17.338
We should make sure
he doesn't have another copy on him.
00:34:17.630 --> 00:34:18.463
Uh... Mm-mm.
00:34:18.546 --> 00:34:21.296
Rifling through the pockets of the corpse
counts as touching, yup.
00:34:21.380 --> 00:34:24.130
Sorry to single you out like that,
Ms. Ballard. You're wonderful.
00:34:24.213 --> 00:34:26.564
- You look extravagant tonight.
- Okay. What's next?
00:34:26.588 --> 00:34:28.546
We have to preserve the crime scene.
00:34:28.630 --> 00:34:31.338
Captain Wong, is there any way
you can lock off this place?
00:34:31.671 --> 00:34:32.588
Yes, of course.
00:34:32.671 --> 00:34:35.088
So we should then start
questioning the suspects.
00:34:35.380 --> 00:34:36.546
Suspects?
00:34:36.630 --> 00:34:38.213
We're not questioning anybody.
00:34:38.296 --> 00:34:40.921
Wong, when you finish locking up here,
you bring me the key.
00:34:41.005 --> 00:34:44.380
Then you radio Interpol, tell 'em
we'll meet 'em at the docks in Monaco.
00:34:44.463 --> 00:34:47.671
In the meantime, I'm gonna check
the shrimp out a little closer.
00:34:47.921 --> 00:34:49.213
For the investigation?
00:34:49.296 --> 00:34:51.463
No, Wong, because I'm hungry as shit.
00:34:51.546 --> 00:34:54.546
The rest of you, I'd lock yourselves
in your chambers or your yacht rooms
00:34:54.630 --> 00:34:55.921
because one of us...
00:34:57.171 --> 00:34:58.255
is a murderer.
00:35:03.796 --> 00:35:05.630
- Audrey.
- Yeah?
00:35:05.713 --> 00:35:07.088
Get the cocktail sauce.
00:35:07.713 --> 00:35:08.713
Yep.
00:35:31.963 --> 00:35:34.588
Wait a second. What on earth is on these?
00:35:34.671 --> 00:35:38.755
I don't know. This Maurice guy must
breastfeed each shrimp individually.
00:35:38.838 --> 00:35:40.380
I mean, they live so well.
00:35:40.463 --> 00:35:41.963
- Oh, God, yeah.
- God.
00:35:43.088 --> 00:35:44.963
All right. Where were we?
Okay, okay, okay.
00:35:45.546 --> 00:35:48.755
You know what? There had to be
two people in on the killing.
00:35:48.838 --> 00:35:51.338
Because how could they know
when the lights were gonna go out?
00:35:51.421 --> 00:35:53.255
- That's smart, that's smart.
- Right?
00:35:53.338 --> 00:35:55.505
I'm tired as hell right now.
I'm gonna go to sleep.
00:35:55.880 --> 00:35:57.000
- Are you kidding me?
- What?
00:35:57.296 --> 00:35:58.380
You're not jet-lagged?
00:36:02.338 --> 00:36:04.171
Nick.
00:36:04.255 --> 00:36:06.213
- Honey, come on, seriously.
- Huh?
00:36:06.296 --> 00:36:07.505
Who do you think did it?
00:36:08.546 --> 00:36:10.046
I don't think. I know.
00:36:10.796 --> 00:36:11.796
Who?
00:36:12.005 --> 00:36:13.255
It was the son.
00:36:13.755 --> 00:36:15.421
- Tobey.
- No.
00:36:15.505 --> 00:36:18.630
No way. Not a chance. It's too obvious.
00:36:18.713 --> 00:36:21.255
The most obvious suspect
is never, never the killer.
00:36:21.338 --> 00:36:24.671
The most obvious suspect
is always the killer.
00:36:24.755 --> 00:36:29.505
When a wife gets killed,
90% of the time it was the husband.
00:36:30.963 --> 00:36:32.755
Why did you just use that as an example?
00:36:33.755 --> 00:36:34.796
And I disagree.
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.130
I think people are more complicated
than that.
00:36:39.171 --> 00:36:41.921
Judging off of what?
Those books that you read?
00:36:42.505 --> 00:36:44.921
People are simple, okay?
00:36:45.005 --> 00:36:46.005
It was Tobey.
00:36:46.046 --> 00:36:49.546
He had the most to gain,
and he also had the most to lose.
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:52.296
Which is exactly why he's not the killer.
00:36:53.921 --> 00:36:55.921
Did you ever fool around on a boat?
00:36:56.463 --> 00:36:58.023
Do you know how much fun that could be?
00:36:58.088 --> 00:37:00.171
I just lay here
and the boat does all the work.
00:37:00.255 --> 00:37:02.606
- That's so convenient for you.
- You know I have a bad back.
00:37:02.630 --> 00:37:04.130
So convenient for you.
00:37:05.505 --> 00:37:07.046
What about the lights?
00:37:07.130 --> 00:37:10.213
Yeah, leave 'em on. I don't care.
Either way. Lady's choice.
00:37:10.296 --> 00:37:12.880
Shh! No. Who turned out those lights?
00:37:15.588 --> 00:37:17.296
What?! Oh!
00:37:28.046 --> 00:37:30.171
Don't look at me like that. I can feel it.
00:38:00.630 --> 00:38:02.606
- I'm sorry. Excuse me.
- Will you take the Allegra?
00:38:02.630 --> 00:38:03.796
It's the same stuff.
00:38:03.880 --> 00:38:05.755
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Oh, God.
00:38:09.046 --> 00:38:11.213
Enter the brilliant
yet tortured detective,
00:38:11.505 --> 00:38:12.505
right on cue.
00:38:13.255 --> 00:38:14.380
Mesdames, messieurs.
00:38:16.421 --> 00:38:19.130
My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix.
00:38:20.963 --> 00:38:25.005
I will now summon you one by one
to the grand lounge for questioning.
00:38:31.171 --> 00:38:33.713
Why is that smoke ring so good?
How did he do that?
00:38:36.130 --> 00:38:38.171
Oh, you broke it. You broke it.
00:38:49.838 --> 00:38:51.421
Tell me about Malcolm Quince.
00:38:51.921 --> 00:38:54.296
He was the most wonderful...
00:38:54.380 --> 00:38:55.505
Swine.
00:38:55.588 --> 00:38:57.630
He was the love of my life.
00:38:57.713 --> 00:38:59.838
He was a complicated man.
00:39:01.130 --> 00:39:02.963
Describe to me what happened.
00:39:03.546 --> 00:39:08.338
Yo, Mr. French Policeman, man.
It was mad. Lights went out.
00:39:08.421 --> 00:39:10.880
I thought I saw something move,
and I shot.
00:39:13.713 --> 00:39:14.630
Yes.
00:39:14.713 --> 00:39:15.546
Finish line.
00:39:15.630 --> 00:39:17.713
The old man got what was coming to him.
00:39:17.796 --> 00:39:19.546
One-eight-seven, motherfu...
00:39:21.796 --> 00:39:23.588
Did anyone touch the body?
00:39:25.380 --> 00:39:26.463
No.
00:39:26.546 --> 00:39:30.255
And did you notice anything else
out of the ordinary?
00:39:31.130 --> 00:39:33.630
- The Americans.
- Yes, number one. Yes.
00:39:37.588 --> 00:39:39.296
Aren't you gonna, um...
00:39:39.380 --> 00:39:40.838
Aren't you gonna separate us?
00:39:42.838 --> 00:39:43.838
Pardon?
00:39:44.171 --> 00:39:45.880
- For the interrogation.
- Okay.
00:39:45.963 --> 00:39:47.588
Question us separately, see if our...
00:39:47.671 --> 00:39:49.505
- What are you doing?
- ...answers match.
00:39:49.588 --> 00:39:52.380
What? I'm just saying,
our answers will match
00:39:52.463 --> 00:39:54.303
- because we're innocent.
- Yeah, that's right.
00:39:55.796 --> 00:39:56.713
There we go.
00:39:56.796 --> 00:39:59.338
God, you are really good at that.
00:39:59.588 --> 00:40:02.963
We found this in Tobey Quince's suite.
00:40:03.630 --> 00:40:05.838
A typewritten suicide note
00:40:05.921 --> 00:40:08.671
in which he confesses
to the murder of his father.
00:40:09.255 --> 00:40:10.088
Typewritten?
00:40:10.171 --> 00:40:12.338
- Mm-mm.
- That's not very common.
00:40:12.796 --> 00:40:14.546
- Very suspicious.
- Yes.
00:40:14.630 --> 00:40:17.963
Yeah, obviously someone is trying
to frame Tobey for his father's murder.
00:40:18.963 --> 00:40:21.421
- This is amazing.
- Look how excited she is.
00:40:21.505 --> 00:40:23.305
So where's your head at
with this whole thing?
00:40:23.380 --> 00:40:24.963
I mean, who are your chief suspects?
00:40:26.338 --> 00:40:27.171
You.
00:40:27.255 --> 00:40:29.255
- Woo, yes.
- Right, of course,
00:40:29.338 --> 00:40:32.713
- 'cause everybody is a suspect.
- Especially her.
00:40:32.796 --> 00:40:36.255
This is a group of friends and family
who have known each other for years.
00:40:36.338 --> 00:40:39.338
You two show up, and ten hours later,
two of them are dead.
00:40:40.088 --> 00:40:41.088
Coincidence?
00:40:41.463 --> 00:40:43.046
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
00:40:43.130 --> 00:40:44.463
- Coincidence.
- Wait. Excuse me.
00:40:44.546 --> 00:40:46.046
Are you saying that your theory
00:40:46.130 --> 00:40:50.338
is that the two of us conned our way
onto a stranger's boat at the last minute
00:40:50.421 --> 00:40:54.421
to commit premeditated murder
that benefits us in no way?
00:40:54.505 --> 00:40:55.505
That's your theory?
00:40:55.880 --> 00:40:57.421
Perhaps someone paid you to do it.
00:40:57.505 --> 00:40:59.088
- No.
- Paid us to do it?
00:40:59.171 --> 00:41:01.963
Oh, my gosh. I would love to see that.
Show me that money.
00:41:02.046 --> 00:41:04.005
Do you want to see
our bank statements?
00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:06.338
We're broke.
00:41:06.421 --> 00:41:08.380
Desperate for money. I see.
00:41:08.463 --> 00:41:10.421
Now you gave him a motive.
00:41:10.505 --> 00:41:12.731
- No, no, no. I know. Just don't...
- We did this because...
00:41:12.755 --> 00:41:14.731
- ...take my words out of context.
- We got nothing.
00:41:14.755 --> 00:41:16.231
- That's all we got, is nothing.
- No.
00:41:16.255 --> 00:41:19.546
Listen, I am talking to you,
detective to detective.
00:41:20.088 --> 00:41:21.088
We didn't do this.
00:41:21.130 --> 00:41:23.588
- You can see in my eyes. You can tell.
- Mm-mm.
00:41:24.088 --> 00:41:27.338
Perhaps I will have
that word with you independently.
00:41:28.130 --> 00:41:29.296
I di... Hey!
00:41:30.630 --> 00:41:31.546
I can get up.
00:41:31.630 --> 00:41:32.963
Hey, okay.
00:41:33.046 --> 00:41:34.463
I'll be out in a minute.
00:41:34.963 --> 00:41:36.046
I love you.
00:41:36.130 --> 00:41:38.713
I'm sorry. She's just excited
because it's...
00:41:38.796 --> 00:41:41.213
She reads books, and this is fun for her.
00:41:43.546 --> 00:41:46.171
You wish me to believe you're innocent.
00:41:46.255 --> 00:41:48.671
Unfortunately, I do not believe liars.
00:41:48.755 --> 00:41:50.255
But I'm telling you the truth.
00:41:50.338 --> 00:41:52.796
And how long
have you been lying to your wife?
00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:53.880
Excuse me?
00:41:54.630 --> 00:41:57.630
You did not think that we would
investigate your background,
00:41:58.088 --> 00:42:01.546
Sergeant Nicholas Spitz, NYPD?
00:42:02.005 --> 00:42:05.380
Failed his detective's exam three times.
00:42:05.463 --> 00:42:07.588
You are, how you do say,
00:42:07.671 --> 00:42:08.921
cop on the beat,
00:42:09.005 --> 00:42:11.088
not detective as you so claim.
00:42:11.838 --> 00:42:12.838
So I...
00:42:13.838 --> 00:42:15.421
tell people I'm a detective.
00:42:15.505 --> 00:42:16.713
There's...
00:42:16.796 --> 00:42:18.005
That's not a crime.
00:42:18.380 --> 00:42:21.213
Impersonating a detective is a crime.
00:42:21.630 --> 00:42:23.030
I didn't think it was a crime here.
00:42:23.088 --> 00:42:24.848
I thought maybe you guys
had different rules.
00:42:25.296 --> 00:42:27.005
That doesn't make us murderers.
00:42:27.088 --> 00:42:30.671
A broke, failed man, lying to his wife?
I think it does.
00:42:30.963 --> 00:42:33.463
You don't have any evidence.
You can't hold us.
00:42:33.546 --> 00:42:35.880
No, but I can hold these.
00:42:37.088 --> 00:42:40.588
I believe Mr. Cavendish has provided
accommodations for you
00:42:40.671 --> 00:42:43.755
at the Hotel de Savoie,
so you won't be on the street.
00:42:44.421 --> 00:42:47.380
But mark my words, Officer Spitz,
00:42:47.880 --> 00:42:51.671
I will not rest until I prove
that you committed these murders.
00:42:52.296 --> 00:42:53.296
And I...
00:42:54.088 --> 00:42:57.463
will rest, because I'm tired as shit,
at that hotel you just said.
00:42:57.546 --> 00:42:59.046
It sounds like a good one.
00:42:59.130 --> 00:43:01.713
But after I'm well-rested
and I eat breakfast...
00:43:01.796 --> 00:43:04.421
hopefully the guy cooks
as good as Maurice...
00:43:05.255 --> 00:43:07.796
I will not rest until I prove to you
00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:10.171
we have nothing to do with these murders.
00:43:15.005 --> 00:43:15.838
Juan Carlos!
00:43:15.921 --> 00:43:17.130
Juan Carlos!
00:43:20.671 --> 00:43:23.031
Charles said
that everyone's gonna be at this race,
00:43:23.088 --> 00:43:24.921
so whoever did this is gonna be there.
00:43:25.005 --> 00:43:26.296
We have to figure out who it is.
00:43:26.380 --> 00:43:29.505
I know we've gotta figure it out.
This isn't one of your books, sweetheart.
00:43:29.588 --> 00:43:32.046
I mean, it's like one of your books,
but this is real.
00:43:32.130 --> 00:43:34.255
Like, two people are dead, for real.
00:43:34.338 --> 00:43:36.314
- I know.
- There's a real killer on the real loose.
00:43:36.338 --> 00:43:37.505
Hey, babe. Relax.
00:43:37.588 --> 00:43:39.171
What's... What's wrong with you?
00:43:39.255 --> 00:43:41.921
For real? Come on. Will you just focus...
00:43:42.005 --> 00:43:43.064
- Fine.
- ...on this with me?
00:43:43.088 --> 00:43:44.671
Um, yes. Uh...
00:43:44.755 --> 00:43:47.671
Okay. So there are three basic
motives for every murder.
00:43:47.755 --> 00:43:49.671
Yes. The first one is money.
00:43:49.755 --> 00:43:50.630
Right.
00:43:50.713 --> 00:43:52.671
Everyone was in Quince's will,
except Suzi.
00:43:52.755 --> 00:43:54.713
- Okay.
- All right. The second one is love.
00:43:54.796 --> 00:43:57.156
We know nobody loved that guy
'cause he was kind of a prick.
00:43:57.213 --> 00:43:58.296
Suzi might have loved him.
00:43:58.380 --> 00:44:00.689
- That's what you would think...
- Okay, what's the third one?
00:44:00.713 --> 00:44:01.880
- Revenge.
- Right.
00:44:01.963 --> 00:44:03.643
That's the one
we should be thinking about.
00:44:03.671 --> 00:44:06.106
I'm telling you, if we figure out
who hates this guy the most,
00:44:06.130 --> 00:44:07.005
that's our killer.
00:44:07.088 --> 00:44:08.421
Okay. Okay.
00:44:18.088 --> 00:44:20.796
So, this beard... It's incredible.
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:23.671
Do you oil that or condition?
00:44:23.755 --> 00:44:25.255
You won't get anything out of him.
00:44:25.338 --> 00:44:26.671
Oh, my gosh.
00:44:26.755 --> 00:44:29.796
Most of his life, he's been serving men
like me and Malcolm,
00:44:30.130 --> 00:44:32.005
despite being an heir to millions.
00:44:32.088 --> 00:44:33.296
He's rich, too?
00:44:33.380 --> 00:44:35.713
He's supposed to be,
but he's one of 16 children,
00:44:35.796 --> 00:44:37.713
and he's half French.
00:44:37.796 --> 00:44:40.255
Are you familiar
with French inheritance law?
00:44:40.630 --> 00:44:41.630
Broad strokes.
00:44:41.671 --> 00:44:44.130
That Colonel guy,
he's getting on my nerves.
00:44:44.213 --> 00:44:45.796
- Yeah.
- Shit. Walking around
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:47.522
- saying you killed both those guys.
- Huh?
00:44:47.546 --> 00:44:48.755
- Yeah.
- What?
00:44:48.838 --> 00:44:50.255
And I'm like, come on.
00:44:50.338 --> 00:44:53.963
- My man wouldn't do...
- Yo. Look, yo. I didn't do nothing, son.
00:44:54.046 --> 00:44:56.213
- It doesn't matter what the will says.
- Uh-huh.
00:44:56.296 --> 00:44:59.171
The fortune must be divided equally
among the offspring.
00:44:59.255 --> 00:45:01.088
Why do the French have such a law?
00:45:01.171 --> 00:45:05.380
Well, they do it to keep all Frenchmen
from doing what Malcolm was trying to do,
00:45:05.463 --> 00:45:07.921
and leaving everything
to their mistresses.
00:45:08.005 --> 00:45:09.046
Oh.
00:45:09.963 --> 00:45:11.380
- My theory is...
- Yeah?
00:45:11.755 --> 00:45:13.088
...Juan Carlos done it, man.
00:45:13.171 --> 00:45:14.838
What? Why would he do that?
00:45:14.921 --> 00:45:17.588
Well, Juan Carlos's dad
used to race for Malcolm.
00:45:17.671 --> 00:45:21.713
Malcolm tried to get slick on some
safety angle, and shit got overlooked.
00:45:21.796 --> 00:45:23.046
- Yeah?
- Okay.
00:45:24.130 --> 00:45:27.921
Juan Carlos's dad lost both his legs, G.
00:45:28.005 --> 00:45:29.963
Yeah, straight up.
00:45:30.046 --> 00:45:31.130
- Oh.
- Gone.
00:45:31.213 --> 00:45:32.421
So it's payback time.
00:45:32.505 --> 00:45:34.088
A hundred percent of a doubt.
00:45:34.755 --> 00:45:35.755
Wh-What?
00:45:35.921 --> 00:45:38.005
- Juan Carlos is your man.
- Oh, yeah.
00:45:38.088 --> 00:45:39.255
You guarantee that?
00:45:39.338 --> 00:45:40.338
Guarantee.
00:45:40.421 --> 00:45:41.755
Respect.
00:45:42.671 --> 00:45:44.421
Or maybe Sergei could have done it.
00:45:46.046 --> 00:45:48.213
- Yeah.
- Okay. So you're not guaranteeing it.
00:45:48.296 --> 00:45:49.588
No, not a hundred percent. No.
00:45:53.921 --> 00:45:56.088
Oh! Bless you.
00:45:56.755 --> 00:45:58.213
Would you like some Allegra?
00:45:58.713 --> 00:46:01.046
- I doubt that would be useful.
- I know.
00:46:01.130 --> 00:46:03.338
It doesn't work.
I tried to tell that to Nick.
00:46:06.046 --> 00:46:07.380
Do you need something?
00:46:07.963 --> 00:46:09.921
Uh, no. Mm-mm.
00:46:10.755 --> 00:46:13.880
The guy that throws me off the most...
Cavendish...
00:46:13.963 --> 00:46:17.921
to me, he seems like
he's compensating for something,
00:46:18.005 --> 00:46:20.046
with the Great Gatsby look and the jawline
00:46:20.130 --> 00:46:22.380
and the "hey, I'm so gorgeous."
Am I right?
00:46:22.463 --> 00:46:23.338
Mm-hmm.
00:46:23.421 --> 00:46:25.880
There's absolutely nothing wrong
with Charles Cavendish.
00:46:25.963 --> 00:46:27.630
- Isn't that the...
- Except...
00:46:28.213 --> 00:46:30.130
he probably murdered his uncle.
00:46:31.130 --> 00:46:32.880
Well, that's one thing wrong.
00:46:34.505 --> 00:46:36.380
...comes to the checkered flag!
00:46:36.463 --> 00:46:37.838
It's Juan Carlos!
00:46:38.921 --> 00:46:41.838
Winner of this year's
Monte Carlo Grand Prix!
00:46:41.921 --> 00:46:43.921
I find that Suzi Nakamura very suspicious.
00:46:43.963 --> 00:46:46.005
She's the only one
who didn't have a motive.
00:46:46.088 --> 00:46:49.064
- It was Cavendish and you know it.
- You just... No, you just don't like him.
00:46:49.088 --> 00:46:52.005
I don't like him. I don't.
I hate his guts, but that's not it.
00:46:52.088 --> 00:46:54.838
- Did you just steal all of those?
- He's the sole blood heir.
00:46:54.921 --> 00:46:57.796
He stands to make
the biggest claim for the fortune.
00:46:57.880 --> 00:46:58.880
I want one of these.
00:46:58.921 --> 00:47:01.380
- Malcolm stole his fiancée.
- Okay.
00:47:01.463 --> 00:47:03.171
That's all three motives.
00:47:03.255 --> 00:47:05.046
Money, love, revenge.
00:47:05.130 --> 00:47:06.838
We went past it.
I don't know where we are.
00:47:06.921 --> 00:47:08.881
We're over here.
Will you please try one of these?
00:47:08.921 --> 00:47:10.796
No! Oh, my God. You know what?
00:47:11.296 --> 00:47:14.088
I think you just think it's Cavendish
'cause you're jealous of him.
00:47:14.171 --> 00:47:15.921
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
00:47:16.005 --> 00:47:17.921
- I'm jealous of him.
- You are.
00:47:18.005 --> 00:47:19.546
What? Why? What am I jealous of?
00:47:19.630 --> 00:47:22.588
What is there to be jealous...
He's rich. He's charming.
00:47:23.171 --> 00:47:24.630
He smells great.
00:47:24.713 --> 00:47:26.296
What do you mean? What's he smell like?
00:47:26.380 --> 00:47:28.880
He smells like
he just came out of the dryer.
00:47:32.421 --> 00:47:34.046
What the... What the...
00:47:38.088 --> 00:47:39.255
No, no, no.
00:47:39.338 --> 00:47:40.838
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:47:40.921 --> 00:47:42.601
We should test that
for fingerprints first.
00:47:42.630 --> 00:47:44.921
Okay. Do you have
the fingerprint testing kit?
00:47:45.296 --> 00:47:46.921
- What?
- 'Cause I didn't pack mine.
00:47:47.005 --> 00:47:48.046
Is it in your bag?
00:47:48.130 --> 00:47:49.296
Stop it! Come on.
00:47:50.213 --> 00:47:51.213
Hurry.
00:47:51.713 --> 00:47:53.296
Oh, this is so crazy.
00:47:55.046 --> 00:47:56.796
Oh, God. Seriously?
00:47:58.921 --> 00:48:00.171
Oh, got it.
00:48:00.255 --> 00:48:02.088
Will you please
just go see a chiropractor?
00:48:02.171 --> 00:48:03.213
It's gonna be fine.
00:48:04.463 --> 00:48:07.296
"Come to suite 802."
00:48:07.380 --> 00:48:08.713
♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪
00:48:08.796 --> 00:48:11.296
- We have to go to 802.
- We're not going to 802. Stop!
00:48:11.380 --> 00:48:12.463
- Why?
- It's a trap.
00:48:12.546 --> 00:48:14.986
Why wouldn't whoever just knocked
just come in and talk to us?
00:48:15.255 --> 00:48:16.815
Maybe he's being watched by the killer.
00:48:16.880 --> 00:48:19.005
What if we're being watched by the killer?
00:48:19.671 --> 00:48:20.880
What if he was in here?
00:48:21.588 --> 00:48:23.713
Maybe he stole my Peanut M&Ms.
00:48:23.796 --> 00:48:25.755
I stole your Peanut M&Ms.
00:48:26.171 --> 00:48:27.171
You stole my Peanut M&Ms?
00:48:27.255 --> 00:48:29.522
- I wanted to see if they tasted the same!
- You got to stop eating.
00:48:29.546 --> 00:48:30.838
You're gonna gain it all back.
00:48:30.921 --> 00:48:32.713
I'm going to 802. Are you coming with me?
00:48:32.796 --> 00:48:34.463
Okay, wait. Let me just...
00:48:34.546 --> 00:48:36.546
- What?
- ...figure something out.
00:48:37.296 --> 00:48:38.380
God damn.
00:48:43.005 --> 00:48:45.338
- What are you doing?
- It's a weapon.
00:48:45.421 --> 00:48:46.296
That's a lamp.
00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:48.713
Not when I crack someone
over the head with it.
00:48:48.796 --> 00:48:50.476
Will you stop questioning everything I do.
00:48:50.505 --> 00:48:52.105
Well, everything you do is questionable.
00:49:01.755 --> 00:49:02.963
That's 808.
00:49:15.630 --> 00:49:16.630
Hello?
00:49:18.463 --> 00:49:19.463
Note sender?
00:49:21.963 --> 00:49:24.213
You told us to come to 802. Are you there?
00:49:26.130 --> 00:49:27.130
Are you dead?
00:49:27.921 --> 00:49:29.338
He might be in the bathroom.
00:49:34.088 --> 00:49:36.088
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
00:49:36.171 --> 00:49:37.491
Sit on the bed.
00:49:37.546 --> 00:49:39.255
You speak... I thought you didn't speak.
00:49:39.338 --> 00:49:40.838
Shut up. Sit on the bed.
00:49:40.921 --> 00:49:42.231
- I'm sitting!
- Shut up. Sit down.
00:49:42.255 --> 00:49:44.921
We're gonna sit in front of the bed.
All good.
00:49:45.671 --> 00:49:47.755
I cannot keep his secrets anymore.
00:49:48.338 --> 00:49:50.088
You mean the Colonel's, right?
00:49:50.171 --> 00:49:53.588
The Colonel's secrets?
I know, it's so hard to keep secrets.
00:49:53.671 --> 00:49:55.880
It really is.
You know, I have a friend named Gwen,
00:49:55.963 --> 00:49:57.883
and she has a box
that she keeps under her bed...
00:49:57.921 --> 00:49:59.796
Look, don't give me that hairdresser shit.
00:50:00.130 --> 00:50:01.505
Just shut up. Listen.
00:50:02.755 --> 00:50:05.088
Copenhagen, 1994.
00:50:06.921 --> 00:50:08.755
We were leaving a state dinner.
00:50:10.713 --> 00:50:12.588
I did not see the bomber,
00:50:13.671 --> 00:50:15.130
but the Colonel did.
00:50:15.421 --> 00:50:16.255
Whoa.
00:50:16.338 --> 00:50:19.213
He threw his body across Mr. Quince.
00:50:20.338 --> 00:50:21.546
He was hero.
00:50:22.255 --> 00:50:25.088
For nine months,
the Colonel lay in a coma.
00:50:26.213 --> 00:50:27.630
And when he awoke,
00:50:28.880 --> 00:50:32.880
he find his eye
is not the only thing he lost.
00:50:32.963 --> 00:50:35.213
They blew off his dick.
I knew it. I knew it.
00:50:35.296 --> 00:50:37.689
- His hand. His hand, honey.
- The dick. He's saying the dick.
00:50:37.713 --> 00:50:39.233
- No, no, no.
- He doesn't have a hand!
00:50:39.296 --> 00:50:41.088
- I'm no talk about dick!
- All right.
00:50:42.713 --> 00:50:44.296
I talk about her.
00:50:44.380 --> 00:50:45.588
- Me?
- Her?
00:50:45.671 --> 00:50:46.671
No, no, no.
00:50:50.213 --> 00:50:51.588
Madeleine...
00:50:52.046 --> 00:50:53.546
LeBoutillier.
00:50:55.588 --> 00:50:58.380
The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
00:50:59.296 --> 00:51:03.130
She was the Colonel's fiancée
when the bomb exploded.
00:51:04.630 --> 00:51:06.088
And when he awoke...
00:51:07.796 --> 00:51:09.880
she was Mr. Quince's wife.
00:51:10.338 --> 00:51:11.671
What the hell is with this guy?
00:51:11.755 --> 00:51:14.481
- What, honestly, is his problem?
- Can he get his own woman maybe once?
00:51:14.505 --> 00:51:15.838
And then she died.
00:51:16.130 --> 00:51:17.296
No!
00:51:17.671 --> 00:51:18.838
In childbirth.
00:51:18.921 --> 00:51:19.796
- No!
- Damn.
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:21.880
The child died, too. A boy.
00:51:22.338 --> 00:51:24.671
A boy who would have inherited it all.
00:51:25.588 --> 00:51:29.088
After that, the Colonel never mentioned
Madeleine again,
00:51:30.921 --> 00:51:32.880
except for one night.
00:51:32.963 --> 00:51:34.921
On the anniversary of her death,
00:51:35.296 --> 00:51:38.088
he came to me, he was drinking. He say...
00:51:40.005 --> 00:51:41.005
"Sergei."
00:51:41.338 --> 00:51:42.630
He's doing impressions now.
00:51:43.046 --> 00:51:46.505
"If you were to kill this Mr. Quince,
00:51:46.588 --> 00:51:48.046
how would you do it?"
00:51:48.963 --> 00:51:50.130
And I say,
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:53.338
"Find isolated place,
00:51:53.963 --> 00:51:55.838
create confusion,
00:51:55.921 --> 00:51:58.755
make sure there are others with motive."
00:51:59.713 --> 00:52:02.588
I told him how to kill the man!
00:52:03.005 --> 00:52:05.588
- Holy shit! This is incredible!
- Thank you.
00:52:05.671 --> 00:52:08.838
Okay. So the Colonel killed Malcolm
and Tobey over lost love.
00:52:08.921 --> 00:52:10.272
- Got it. Perfect.
- This is insane.
00:52:10.296 --> 00:52:12.255
Will you just say
all of that one more time,
00:52:12.338 --> 00:52:13.796
but can you say it from the top?
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:16.022
- I've gotta do a voice memo.
- She screws this up a lot.
00:52:16.046 --> 00:52:18.338
- Just ask Siri.
- Swipe it up.
00:52:18.421 --> 00:52:19.606
- Swipe it up.
- I did swipe up.
00:52:19.630 --> 00:52:20.463
Say, "Siri,
00:52:20.546 --> 00:52:22.689
I would like to make voice memo."
00:52:25.921 --> 00:52:28.005
Get into wardrobe. You are in danger.
00:52:28.088 --> 00:52:30.606
- Get in the wardrobe, you said?
- You are in danger. Right now.
00:52:30.630 --> 00:52:32.838
- Quickly.
- Jesus. I don't know... Ow!
00:52:33.463 --> 00:52:36.338
And whatever you hear,
do not come out till I say so.
00:52:36.421 --> 00:52:37.463
- Yes, sir.
- Yes.
00:52:40.046 --> 00:52:41.630
You. What do you want?
00:52:42.921 --> 00:52:45.296
No, they're not here. You should go.
00:52:48.796 --> 00:52:50.296
Where's the lamp?
00:52:50.755 --> 00:52:53.380
- I left it outside.
- Why isn't it in here?
00:52:53.463 --> 00:52:56.088
- Now you like the lamp? You're ridiculous.
- Well, we needed...
00:52:56.171 --> 00:52:58.671
- Let me open the door.
- Wait, wait, wait!
00:52:58.755 --> 00:53:00.380
Sh.
00:53:03.588 --> 00:53:04.713
Oh, thank God.
00:53:05.213 --> 00:53:06.213
Killer...
00:53:06.671 --> 00:53:07.546
is...
00:53:07.630 --> 00:53:08.880
What?
00:53:10.630 --> 00:53:12.088
Oh, God, no! No, no, no!
00:53:12.171 --> 00:53:13.963
Oh, my God!
00:53:14.046 --> 00:53:15.505
Is he dead? Is he dead?
00:53:16.421 --> 00:53:17.421
He's dead!
00:53:17.963 --> 00:53:19.296
Do we call housekeeping?
00:53:19.380 --> 00:53:20.921
Oh! Honey!
00:53:21.005 --> 00:53:22.713
Oh, my God!
00:53:23.546 --> 00:53:24.671
Lock the door!
00:53:24.755 --> 00:53:26.171
Oh, God!
00:53:26.255 --> 00:53:27.755
Oh, my God.
00:53:29.421 --> 00:53:30.505
Go! Out of the window!
00:53:30.588 --> 00:53:33.296
What are you doing?
00:53:34.338 --> 00:53:35.880
Okay, there's a ledge.
00:53:35.963 --> 00:53:37.796
That's not a ledge, that's an edge!
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:39.713
- Here we go.
- Oh, my God.
00:53:39.796 --> 00:53:42.838
I gotcha, a hundred percent.
A hundred percent. Slow.
00:53:42.921 --> 00:53:45.296
- Oh, right there.
- No! Oh, God.
00:53:45.380 --> 00:53:46.588
Come on.
00:53:46.671 --> 00:53:48.213
- Don't even look down.
- Oh!
00:53:48.296 --> 00:53:49.536
- Don't look down.
- Oh, my God!
00:53:49.588 --> 00:53:51.671
- Told you not to look down.
- It's so far.
00:53:51.755 --> 00:53:52.915
Oh, my God.
00:54:01.546 --> 00:54:03.921
He flosses angrier than you!
00:54:10.088 --> 00:54:11.713
We got an empty room. Jackpot.
00:54:11.796 --> 00:54:13.756
- Okay, we're gonna get up on this letter.
- Okay.
00:54:13.838 --> 00:54:15.671
Ready? Go.
00:54:17.588 --> 00:54:18.630
God!
00:54:18.713 --> 00:54:19.838
Oh, my God!
00:54:21.713 --> 00:54:23.647
- You okay? Come on.
- That was the scariest thing.
00:54:23.671 --> 00:54:26.505
- We gotta go. All right. I love you.
- Oh, my God.
00:54:26.588 --> 00:54:28.939
- I love you. I'm so scared.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:54:31.755 --> 00:54:34.005
Uh... What's in here? Uh...
00:54:35.088 --> 00:54:36.880
No, you're not going back out there.
00:54:38.046 --> 00:54:39.921
- Oh, yes! Finally!
- Come here.
00:54:40.588 --> 00:54:41.963
- Kiss me, Vik.
- Oh!
00:54:42.046 --> 00:54:43.755
Oh, kiss me. Kiss me here.
00:54:43.838 --> 00:54:44.921
- Where?
- Here.
00:54:45.005 --> 00:54:47.380
- God, I love it. Quick, get me to the bed.
- Jesus Christ.
00:54:47.463 --> 00:54:48.630
- Get up.
- Yes!
00:54:48.713 --> 00:54:51.671
I'm gonna drink you up
like a milkshake without a straw!
00:54:51.755 --> 00:54:53.296
Yeah. Wow!
00:54:53.380 --> 00:54:54.939
- That's right.
- Vanilla milkshake!
00:54:54.963 --> 00:54:56.838
Vanilla, chocolate, whatever!
00:54:56.921 --> 00:54:57.796
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
00:54:57.880 --> 00:54:59.088
- Here we go!
- Wow!
00:54:59.171 --> 00:55:02.088
Yeah! I hope the hotel's
got insurance for these springs
00:55:02.171 --> 00:55:03.630
'cause I'm gonna bust this bed up.
00:55:03.713 --> 00:55:04.713
Oh, my God!
00:55:04.755 --> 00:55:06.939
- You're much stronger than you look, Vik!
- That's right!
00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:10.630
- You ready for this?
- I don't know if I am!
00:55:10.713 --> 00:55:12.630
Oh, Grace!
00:55:13.005 --> 00:55:16.213
- Grace! Oh, Grace!
- Huh? Why do you keep saying Grace?
00:55:16.296 --> 00:55:18.397
Darling, it's the only thing
that gets me in the mood.
00:55:18.421 --> 00:55:22.046
Grace!
You look so good for your age!
00:55:22.130 --> 00:55:25.588
- So good for your age! Oh, God!
- Your skin is beautiful!
00:55:25.671 --> 00:55:28.796
- You have no wrinkles...
- No wrinkles any...
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:29.755
Anywhere!
00:55:29.838 --> 00:55:32.630
Oh, my God! Grace, you're so...
00:55:32.713 --> 00:55:33.796
Oh, God!
00:55:36.588 --> 00:55:37.908
- Uh-oh.
- Vik.
00:55:37.963 --> 00:55:39.005
Mm-hmm?
00:55:39.088 --> 00:55:40.171
What happened?
00:55:41.255 --> 00:55:43.838
Maybe we should,
like, conversate a little bit.
00:55:43.921 --> 00:55:45.561
Get to know each other. Know what I mean?
00:55:45.630 --> 00:55:48.921
Like, eye to eye, really connect.
Tell me about your favorite band.
00:55:50.046 --> 00:55:53.505
I'm going to the casino.
Maybe I'll get lucky there.
00:55:53.588 --> 00:55:56.463
Look, look, look!
Please don't tell anybody about this
00:55:56.546 --> 00:55:58.713
'cause I've got some mad sex cred
in these parts, yeah.
00:55:58.796 --> 00:55:59.921
My people know me.
00:56:00.005 --> 00:56:01.296
I'll buy you a hat!
00:56:02.963 --> 00:56:05.088
I can't believe this just happened.
00:56:05.171 --> 00:56:06.546
Okay, okay.
00:56:08.046 --> 00:56:09.588
All right. We gotta calm down.
00:56:09.671 --> 00:56:11.796
- This has been a really weird day, huh?
- Yeah.
00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:13.671
Okay. Let's just get out of this place.
00:56:13.755 --> 00:56:17.296
Absolutely.
Someplace with beer though, please.
00:56:17.380 --> 00:56:18.796
"I'll go buy you a hat."
00:56:21.713 --> 00:56:24.588
Sergei was trying to tell us
the Colonel did it,
00:56:24.671 --> 00:56:27.713
but then he gets shot.
There's no way the Colonel shot him
00:56:27.796 --> 00:56:29.516
'cause the Colonel was having
a floss party.
00:56:29.546 --> 00:56:31.866
Did you see how crazy he was going
with the teeth flossing?
00:56:31.921 --> 00:56:34.255
- I did.
- What did he have in there? A buffet?
00:56:38.463 --> 00:56:40.171
- Um...
- Oh, my gosh.
00:56:45.213 --> 00:56:46.963
- What's he saying?
- I don't know.
00:56:47.046 --> 00:56:49.171
Well, you took French in high school,
didn't you?
00:56:49.255 --> 00:56:52.380
I don't remember high school!
What did you take in high school?
00:56:52.463 --> 00:56:54.588
- Latin.
- Oh, great. Who takes freakin' Latin?
00:56:54.671 --> 00:56:56.431
- People who have a hot Latin teacher.
- Shh!
00:56:58.796 --> 00:57:00.963
Okay, so something, something...
00:57:01.046 --> 00:57:03.296
Something cake. Something's frosted.
00:57:03.380 --> 00:57:04.700
Okay. You're fired. You're fired.
00:57:04.755 --> 00:57:06.338
- Okay, I told you...
- Excuse me, sir.
00:57:06.421 --> 00:57:09.255
Could you translate that for us, please?
S'il vous plaît?
00:57:09.671 --> 00:57:11.713
Uh, the TV says that, uh...
00:57:12.380 --> 00:57:14.630
you are the most wanted... for...
00:57:15.713 --> 00:57:16.713
for meurtre.
00:57:16.796 --> 00:57:18.505
- No, no, no.
- Okay, no, no. We...
00:57:18.588 --> 00:57:20.505
This is a complete misunderstanding, okay?
00:57:20.588 --> 00:57:22.005
We were just around...
00:57:22.088 --> 00:57:24.213
- We saw...
- ...a lot of people that happened to die,
00:57:24.296 --> 00:57:25.421
but we didn't murt.
00:57:25.505 --> 00:57:28.296
You are to be arrested at first sight.
00:57:28.380 --> 00:57:29.880
- Us?
- So, here's what we do.
00:57:29.963 --> 00:57:32.505
What are you talking about?
What are you doing?
00:57:32.588 --> 00:57:34.505
They can't track our SIM card now.
00:57:34.588 --> 00:57:36.505
Yeah, then pull the SIM card out.
00:57:36.588 --> 00:57:39.005
You don't just submerge our phones
into a bucket of beer.
00:57:39.088 --> 00:57:42.713
Now... Now he's saying
that madame is hairdresser,
00:57:42.796 --> 00:57:44.963
you are, uh... police officer?
00:57:45.421 --> 00:57:46.921
No, he's... he's a detective.
00:57:47.213 --> 00:57:48.338
Ah. No, he's not.
00:57:48.421 --> 00:57:49.856
- Yes, he is.
- Yes, I am! Yes, I am!
00:57:49.880 --> 00:57:52.338
No, no, no.
He says that you have, uh, confessed
00:57:52.421 --> 00:57:54.213
to lying about that you are detective.
00:57:54.505 --> 00:57:56.296
What? No. Now he's making stuff up.
00:57:56.380 --> 00:57:59.130
TV says you have failed
your detective exam many, many times.
00:57:59.213 --> 00:58:01.630
All right! Enough translato. That's not...
00:58:01.713 --> 00:58:03.921
You're just improvising, pal,
and it's getting weird.
00:58:04.005 --> 00:58:05.325
What... What is he talking about?
00:58:05.380 --> 00:58:07.340
I will repeat this message
in English.
00:58:07.796 --> 00:58:08.963
Nick Spitz...
00:58:09.380 --> 00:58:10.671
is many things,
00:58:10.755 --> 00:58:12.046
but not a detective.
00:58:14.463 --> 00:58:15.588
Well, I heard that.
00:58:15.671 --> 00:58:17.713
I will repeat this message
in Spanish.
00:58:17.796 --> 00:58:18.921
Did you lie to me?
00:58:19.963 --> 00:58:21.505
I didn't... I didn't lie.
00:58:21.588 --> 00:58:23.548
- The guy... The guy was...
- Oh, God. No, no, no.
00:58:24.338 --> 00:58:26.046
Whoa. Hey.
00:58:26.130 --> 00:58:28.046
- No.
- Hun, hun, hun.
00:58:28.296 --> 00:58:30.880
This whole thing's just...
just very complicated.
00:58:30.963 --> 00:58:33.921
Complicated, yeah.
I thought people were simple.
00:58:34.005 --> 00:58:36.046
Audrey, please.
00:58:36.130 --> 00:58:38.880
What? Did you lie
about getting that raise, too?
00:58:40.921 --> 00:58:43.130
How are we affording this trip?
00:58:44.213 --> 00:58:47.380
You made me feel like
I had to take you on this honeymoon.
00:58:47.463 --> 00:58:50.755
You told me
you already booked this honeymoon.
00:58:51.171 --> 00:58:53.380
You gave this to me.
This was my anniversary gift.
00:58:53.463 --> 00:58:55.088
- Okay.
- You lied about that, too?
00:58:55.171 --> 00:58:56.630
We'll get into all that, okay?
00:58:56.713 --> 00:59:00.213
But right now, I gotta figure out
how we're gonna get out of this situation.
00:59:00.296 --> 00:59:03.130
You have to figure this out?
What do you think I've been doing?
00:59:03.213 --> 00:59:05.005
This is what I do for a living,
sweetheart!
00:59:05.088 --> 00:59:06.796
You're a goddamn hairdresser!
00:59:09.171 --> 00:59:10.255
- I'm sorry.
- Whoa.
00:59:12.921 --> 00:59:15.088
- Where you going?
- I need a minute.
00:59:15.171 --> 00:59:17.171
We don't have a minute!
00:59:17.255 --> 00:59:19.421
Just leave me alone. Don't you follow me.
00:59:39.755 --> 00:59:41.955
You need to get out
of Monte Carlo right away.
00:59:42.546 --> 00:59:44.786
I got you into this,
I'll help get you out. Come with me.
00:59:45.380 --> 00:59:47.300
- Now! We have to go.
- Right.
00:59:49.546 --> 00:59:51.706
- Lake Como, back roads.
- Yes, sir.
00:59:55.338 --> 00:59:57.498
- Where's Nick?
- I don't know. I don't care.
01:00:25.963 --> 01:00:27.588
Jimmy boy, it's Nick.
01:00:27.671 --> 01:00:29.255
Where are you?
01:00:29.338 --> 01:00:31.130
You guys are all over the news.
01:00:31.213 --> 01:00:32.630
They say you killed three people.
01:00:32.713 --> 01:00:33.921
Do you think that's possible?
01:00:34.671 --> 01:00:36.296
With your aim? Hell, no.
01:00:36.380 --> 01:00:39.380
Exactly. Now I'm gonna text you
two international numbers.
01:00:39.463 --> 01:00:41.903
Can you link them together
so I can follow one from the other?
01:00:42.255 --> 01:00:44.046
Are you trying to get my ass fired?
01:00:44.130 --> 01:00:46.046
But hell, yeah.
01:00:46.130 --> 01:00:46.963
Thank you.
01:00:47.046 --> 01:00:49.796
There's one more thing
I want you to check into for me.
01:00:54.296 --> 01:00:55.630
What are we doing?
01:00:55.713 --> 01:00:58.255
I just have to dash in
for a quick appointment with my lawyer.
01:00:58.671 --> 01:01:00.897
We're going to read Malcolm's will
at the villa later on,
01:01:00.921 --> 01:01:02.755
and I'm going to get what's mine.
01:01:02.838 --> 01:01:06.005
Charles, that just sounded
very suspicious.
01:01:06.421 --> 01:01:07.921
What about this week doesn't?
01:01:15.296 --> 01:01:16.338
Oh, God.
01:01:21.046 --> 01:01:22.505
Oh, my God. Claritin.
01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:27.505
This is Japanese Claritin.
01:02:16.588 --> 01:02:17.588
Hello?
01:02:19.838 --> 01:02:20.838
Charles?
01:02:27.088 --> 01:02:27.921
Audrey!
01:02:28.921 --> 01:02:30.005
- Ow!
- God!
01:02:30.088 --> 01:02:31.106
- Ow!
- What the...
01:02:31.130 --> 01:02:32.130
What the...
01:02:32.713 --> 01:02:34.338
What are you doing here?
01:02:34.421 --> 01:02:37.088
I followed Suzi here.
01:02:37.171 --> 01:02:38.588
- Suzi's here?
- Yes.
01:02:38.671 --> 01:02:42.421
Okay, Cavendish came here to find Suzi.
I'm telling you, Cavendish is in on this.
01:02:42.505 --> 01:02:43.630
I know. I knew that!
01:02:43.713 --> 01:02:46.630
Okay. I just found
a box of Japanese Claritin
01:02:46.713 --> 01:02:49.046
in the back of Cavendish's limo.
01:02:49.130 --> 01:02:51.210
So what? They were planning this
the whole damn time?
01:02:51.255 --> 01:02:53.088
The whole time. This was their plan.
01:02:53.171 --> 01:02:55.171
- So they kill Malcolm, they kill Tobey...
- Yeah.
01:02:55.255 --> 01:02:57.338
...before Malcolm has time
to sign the new will.
01:02:57.421 --> 01:02:59.546
- Right.
- That way, Cavendish inherits everything.
01:02:59.838 --> 01:03:01.130
And he splits it with Suzi.
01:03:01.213 --> 01:03:03.713
And if they killed him after,
then Suzi would have inherited.
01:03:03.796 --> 01:03:05.939
- They still would have split that.
- It was a win-win.
01:03:05.963 --> 01:03:06.963
Oh, look at that.
01:03:07.505 --> 01:03:08.921
Who figured that whole thing out?
01:03:09.380 --> 01:03:11.296
The hairdresser. Mm-mm. The hairdresser.
01:03:16.171 --> 01:03:17.421
I got you!
01:03:17.505 --> 01:03:18.505
Jesus! Oh, my God.
01:03:18.796 --> 01:03:20.296
It's just like Death at the Library!
01:03:20.380 --> 01:03:22.255
What happens in Death at the Library?
01:03:22.755 --> 01:03:25.130
They died. That's why it's called
Death at the Library.
01:03:29.463 --> 01:03:31.130
Nick, what are you doing?
01:03:31.630 --> 01:03:33.710
We are going to push this over
on the count of three,
01:03:33.755 --> 01:03:35.595
- and then we're gonna run.
- We're gonna what?
01:03:35.755 --> 01:03:37.588
- Don't you trust me?
- No!
01:03:38.255 --> 01:03:39.880
Ready? One!
01:03:41.380 --> 01:03:42.630
Two!
01:03:43.338 --> 01:03:44.588
Three!
01:03:56.255 --> 01:03:57.505
Oh, look! There!
01:04:03.588 --> 01:04:06.088
Oh! Sorry! Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.
01:04:06.171 --> 01:04:07.171
Come on.
01:04:10.630 --> 01:04:11.990
- Is that...
- Is that Juan Carlos?
01:04:12.088 --> 01:04:14.005
- Juan Carlos!
- Hey!
01:04:14.296 --> 01:04:15.171
Hello!
01:04:15.255 --> 01:04:16.421
- Juan Carlos!
- How am I?
01:04:16.505 --> 01:04:18.564
- No, no. Suzi! Suzi!
- Suzi! Suzi! Which way is Suzi?
01:04:18.588 --> 01:04:20.963
- Married to Malcolm.
- You two married! Good!
01:04:21.046 --> 01:04:22.046
- No!
- No!
01:04:22.130 --> 01:04:25.963
Suzi vidisti?
Putamus esse illa interfectorem.
01:04:26.421 --> 01:04:28.255
- Yes!
- Latin, baby!
01:04:28.338 --> 01:04:30.106
- Still the international language!
- I got it!
01:04:32.255 --> 01:04:33.296
Shit.
01:04:35.046 --> 01:04:36.255
- Oh!
- Yeah!
01:04:41.963 --> 01:04:42.963
Where'd she go?
01:04:43.588 --> 01:04:44.630
She was right there.
01:04:45.213 --> 01:04:47.755
You should have never come to Lake Como.
01:04:48.046 --> 01:04:50.130
- Wait a minute.
- We know about you and Cavendish.
01:04:50.213 --> 01:04:52.713
- You know nothing.
- We know you're still in love,
01:04:52.796 --> 01:04:54.880
and we know that love is tough
without money.
01:04:54.963 --> 01:04:55.963
Isn't it, Suzi?
01:04:56.088 --> 01:04:58.380
I'll take your word for it.
You're the one whose shoes
01:04:58.463 --> 01:05:00.103
still got a sticker from Marshalls on it.
01:05:00.130 --> 01:05:02.210
- They have name brands now!
- How dare you?
01:05:02.255 --> 01:05:03.897
- They have name brands now!
- How dare you?
01:05:03.921 --> 01:05:05.713
- What?
- These are from Target.
01:05:05.796 --> 01:05:08.130
- How could you not tell me?
- I don't look at your...
01:05:08.213 --> 01:05:09.671
Shut up!
01:05:09.755 --> 01:05:12.255
- Oh!
- Suzi, don't. Please, don't do this.
01:05:12.338 --> 01:05:14.898
No matter what you do,
you're not gonna be safe. I'm telling you.
01:05:14.963 --> 01:05:17.255
One murderer always double-crosses
the other murderer.
01:05:17.338 --> 01:05:19.880
- She reads the books.
- It's just a cliché of the genre!
01:05:19.963 --> 01:05:21.296
I'm telling you!
01:05:23.880 --> 01:05:25.463
Hey! Halloween!
01:05:27.171 --> 01:05:28.671
No, no, no! Oh, my God!
01:05:28.755 --> 01:05:29.755
Go, go, go!
01:05:30.005 --> 01:05:32.130
Cavendish, you move,
I'll blow your head off!
01:05:35.296 --> 01:05:36.463
Shoot at him!
01:05:40.505 --> 01:05:42.463
Oh, babe, you're the worst shot!
01:05:42.713 --> 01:05:45.088
Those were warning shots, honey!
01:05:45.171 --> 01:05:47.296
- Oh, yes! I go fast!
- Go!
01:05:48.380 --> 01:05:50.880
Ambulance! Emergencia!
01:05:53.921 --> 01:05:54.921
Oh!
01:06:00.213 --> 01:06:02.380
Okay, Suzi.
You've gotta tell me who did this.
01:06:02.463 --> 01:06:03.921
Slow down. Don't use your words.
01:06:04.005 --> 01:06:06.130
Let's charade it, okay.
Just tell me with your hand.
01:06:06.588 --> 01:06:08.463
Uh, claw. Bear claw.
01:06:08.546 --> 01:06:09.880
No. Grizzly bear claw.
01:06:09.963 --> 01:06:11.671
Oh! Chewy. Chewy.
01:06:11.755 --> 01:06:13.463
So it's Sergei? No, Sergei's dead.
01:06:13.963 --> 01:06:15.046
Hey!
01:06:16.130 --> 01:06:19.046
Have you got tires on your feet? Good God!
01:06:19.880 --> 01:06:21.838
Spooning. Eating. Uh...
01:06:21.921 --> 01:06:23.838
Ice cream. No, no. Gelato. Gelato?
01:06:23.921 --> 01:06:26.880
Oh, God. It's amazing how pretty
you are when you're... I'm sorry.
01:06:27.130 --> 01:06:27.963
Hey.
01:06:28.046 --> 01:06:29.505
Hey! Come on!
01:06:31.921 --> 01:06:33.255
Oh, shoot!
01:06:45.463 --> 01:06:46.380
Hey!
01:06:49.838 --> 01:06:51.505
Ba-ba-ba-ba!
01:06:51.880 --> 01:06:54.005
Crazy... crazy... Crazy mad love!
01:06:54.255 --> 01:06:56.463
It's crazy 'cause you're madly in love
with Cavendish.
01:06:57.005 --> 01:06:59.005
It's Cavendish, no?
Sleeping With the Ene...
01:06:59.088 --> 01:07:00.130
Sleeping.
01:07:00.213 --> 01:07:01.338
You're not sleeping.
01:07:01.630 --> 01:07:04.213
- She's dead now?
- I don't know why this keeps happening!
01:07:04.296 --> 01:07:06.088
Let's go!
We gotta get out of here.
01:07:06.171 --> 01:07:08.011
- Oh, my God. Come on.
- Where?
01:07:08.838 --> 01:07:11.171
Close the airports! Search house to house!
01:07:11.255 --> 01:07:14.088
As God as my witness,
I will find Nick and Audrey Spitz.
01:07:14.838 --> 01:07:16.005
- Inspector?
- Yes?
01:07:16.088 --> 01:07:18.421
I have Nick and Audrey Spitz
on the phone for you.
01:07:18.505 --> 01:07:20.296
- Huh?
- Nick and Audrey Spitz.
01:07:22.546 --> 01:07:23.546
Where are you?
01:07:23.713 --> 01:07:26.338
We are on our way
to Quince's villa right now.
01:07:27.046 --> 01:07:29.213
Oh, okay.
01:07:29.296 --> 01:07:32.046
I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared
for you to actually answer that.
01:07:32.463 --> 01:07:33.880
We are being framed right now.
01:07:33.963 --> 01:07:36.921
You meet us at the villa,
we will reveal the killer.
01:07:37.880 --> 01:07:38.880
That kinda rhymed.
01:07:39.838 --> 01:07:41.005
Which is cool, I think.
01:07:51.880 --> 01:07:53.671
- Look at this place.
- Let's go.
01:07:53.755 --> 01:07:55.630
- Oh, my God.
- This is big.
01:07:55.713 --> 01:07:59.463
This is a big house.
This is what they call rich people shit.
01:07:59.546 --> 01:08:01.588
Lord Cavendish is expecting us.
01:08:01.921 --> 01:08:03.671
Second floor, eighth door on the left.
01:08:03.755 --> 01:08:05.635
Yes, that's right.
That's what he told us, yeah.
01:08:05.671 --> 01:08:08.755
Okay, so take a five-spotter.
01:08:08.838 --> 01:08:11.588
Your five euros is how much American-wise?
01:08:11.880 --> 01:08:13.005
Six American dollars.
01:08:13.088 --> 01:08:15.296
Oh, that's, uh... that's more than I...
01:08:15.380 --> 01:08:18.100
- Can I get a half a euro back...
- Oh, God. Please, Nick. Thank you.
01:08:18.171 --> 01:08:20.171
I didn't know they were ahead of us
with the money.
01:08:20.921 --> 01:08:23.046
- Second floor...
- I got no bullets left,
01:08:23.130 --> 01:08:25.796
so we'll bluff 'em
until Interpol gets here.
01:08:25.880 --> 01:08:27.560
Honey, you just gotta be careful.
01:08:27.588 --> 01:08:30.546
This guy has killed four people,
that we know of.
01:08:30.838 --> 01:08:32.921
Good news is, we know who did it.
01:08:33.005 --> 01:08:34.671
- Okay.
- Hard part is over with.
01:08:34.755 --> 01:08:35.630
Okay.
01:08:35.713 --> 01:08:36.713
And...
01:08:37.130 --> 01:08:38.255
What's up, Dish?
01:08:38.630 --> 01:08:41.005
Stay still!
I'll shoot you right in the six-pack!
01:08:41.088 --> 01:08:42.755
- You hear me, bitch?
- Calm down, babe.
01:08:43.046 --> 01:08:45.838
Make a move! I dare you!
01:08:45.921 --> 01:08:46.838
I dare...
01:08:46.921 --> 01:08:47.921
Oh, my God!
01:08:48.088 --> 01:08:49.505
- He's dead.
- He's dead.
01:08:49.838 --> 01:08:51.171
- Okay, he's dead.
- Oh, my God.
01:08:51.255 --> 01:08:53.755
- What the hell?
- Oh, God. Case reopened, babe.
01:08:53.838 --> 01:08:55.505
They must have poisoned his drink!
01:08:55.588 --> 01:08:57.671
- Nick!
- And look at his face. It's...
01:08:57.755 --> 01:09:01.130
I mean, besides the foaming mouth,
he still kinda looks good.
01:09:01.213 --> 01:09:02.296
What is with this man?
01:09:03.671 --> 01:09:06.272
We told the police. We called the police.
We told 'em to come here.
01:09:06.296 --> 01:09:07.671
- Yes.
- We've got to stop them.
01:09:08.046 --> 01:09:11.463
It's not like canceling a pizza, honey.
You tell 'em to show up, they show up.
01:09:11.546 --> 01:09:13.463
If he's not the killer, who is the killer?
01:09:13.546 --> 01:09:16.796
And if we don't know who the killer is
before they get here, we're screwed!
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:17.963
Do you understand this?
01:09:18.046 --> 01:09:19.880
He's gotta be here in this house.
01:09:19.963 --> 01:09:23.463
This is gorgeous wallpaper.
Is that fabric? Is this embossed?
01:09:23.546 --> 01:09:26.880
Sweetheart, you're losing it!
You're making me nuts right now!
01:09:26.963 --> 01:09:28.171
No, I know. Hold on. Okay.
01:09:28.255 --> 01:09:29.880
All right, it's good.
01:09:29.963 --> 01:09:31.123
You all right? You breathing?
01:09:31.171 --> 01:09:33.130
- I have to breathe through this.
- Look at me.
01:09:33.921 --> 01:09:35.963
- We gotta turn ourselves in.
- Wait, what?
01:09:36.046 --> 01:09:38.505
They're all gonna show up.
If we run, they're gonna shoot us.
01:09:38.588 --> 01:09:40.463
What do you mean?
We're gonna just go to jail?
01:09:40.546 --> 01:09:42.421
It's better than getting shot, ain't it?
01:09:43.171 --> 01:09:45.171
I don't feel... I don't feel good.
01:09:45.255 --> 01:09:46.588
- Babe.
- Oh, God.
01:09:46.671 --> 01:09:47.963
It's an Italian prison.
01:09:48.046 --> 01:09:49.755
You know the food's gonna be incredible.
01:09:49.838 --> 01:09:52.296
We'll have meatballs
and pesto sauce and all that.
01:09:52.380 --> 01:09:54.213
It's not co-ed, honey. All right?
01:09:54.296 --> 01:09:56.255
We're... We're not gonna be
in jail together.
01:09:56.338 --> 01:09:57.338
I know.
01:09:57.671 --> 01:09:58.880
Why did you lie to me?
01:10:02.213 --> 01:10:03.213
'Cause I was...
01:10:03.713 --> 01:10:05.755
I was, uh... I was embarrassed.
01:10:06.046 --> 01:10:07.088
With me?
01:10:07.796 --> 01:10:09.255
Why? I...
01:10:09.755 --> 01:10:12.630
I could've helped you figure that out.
That's why we're together.
01:10:12.713 --> 01:10:13.713
I know.
01:10:13.838 --> 01:10:16.380
Remember when I couldn't pay
my rent at the salon,
01:10:16.463 --> 01:10:20.713
and then you were like, "Oh, okay."
You got that boot off my landlord's car.
01:10:21.005 --> 01:10:23.130
- That got me another week.
- Yeah, I remember.
01:10:23.213 --> 01:10:25.253
Remember when your cholesterol
was through the roof?
01:10:25.505 --> 01:10:28.213
And then I made you eat egg whites?
You hate egg whites.
01:10:28.296 --> 01:10:30.088
And I made you do it,
and I did it with you.
01:10:30.171 --> 01:10:32.755
You helped me not miss yolks anymore.
01:10:32.838 --> 01:10:34.981
That's right. That's what we do.
We do things together.
01:10:35.005 --> 01:10:38.380
So can we please
just figure this out, too?
01:10:38.463 --> 01:10:40.255
We just don't know who did it.
01:10:40.338 --> 01:10:42.546
But Nick, we know who didn't do it.
01:10:42.630 --> 01:10:43.921
- All right?
- Right.
01:10:44.005 --> 01:10:48.046
So let's just go downstairs
and act like we figured it out.
01:10:48.546 --> 01:10:51.463
If we're gonna do that, we gotta...
we just gotta look confident.
01:10:51.546 --> 01:10:54.380
All right. If we're gonna look confident,
we've gotta dress it.
01:10:54.463 --> 01:10:56.296
I already know what I wanna wear.
01:10:56.671 --> 01:10:57.671
What?
01:11:11.380 --> 01:11:12.630
What's up, fools?
01:11:12.713 --> 01:11:15.005
Okay, we solved the case. Boom.
01:11:15.088 --> 01:11:18.213
Yo, yo! Where'd you get the clothes?
It's a little much.
01:11:18.713 --> 01:11:19.588
Um...
01:11:19.671 --> 01:11:22.796
I found this beautiful dress
in a random closet.
01:11:22.880 --> 01:11:25.255
- You're looking gorgeous, by the way.
- Thanks, baby.
01:11:25.338 --> 01:11:27.963
- And he got this stunning tux...
- Mm-hmm.
01:11:28.338 --> 01:11:29.338
...off a...
01:11:29.880 --> 01:11:31.255
Oh, why candy-coat it?
01:11:31.338 --> 01:11:32.463
- A corpse.
- Yeah.
01:11:32.546 --> 01:11:33.838
There's another corpse?
01:11:33.921 --> 01:11:35.296
Jeez! Sorry, yes.
01:11:35.380 --> 01:11:37.046
Upstairs, eighth door on the left.
01:11:38.046 --> 01:11:40.505
To whom does this dead corpse belong?
01:11:40.588 --> 01:11:41.921
Oh, yeah. You guys don't know.
01:11:42.005 --> 01:11:43.272
- Bad news, guys.
- It's terrible.
01:11:43.296 --> 01:11:44.213
Cavendish is dead.
01:11:45.630 --> 01:11:48.213
You stole the tux off Charlie's dead body?
01:11:48.296 --> 01:11:50.814
And it fits perfectly.
Little tight in the crotch, to be honest.
01:11:50.838 --> 01:11:52.897
Just kidding. No, he's got me beat.
He's got me beat.
01:11:52.921 --> 01:11:54.588
Wait. Where's Suzi?
01:11:54.963 --> 01:11:56.338
- She's dead.
- Dead.
01:11:56.421 --> 01:11:57.421
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
01:11:57.505 --> 01:12:00.213
Y'all are like the miniature
Manson Family!
01:12:00.296 --> 01:12:01.772
- No, no, no.
- Nick and Audrey Spitz,
01:12:01.796 --> 01:12:03.463
- you are under arrest.
- Listen.
01:12:03.546 --> 01:12:05.171
Ferme la bouche. Is that what it is?
01:12:05.255 --> 01:12:07.921
- Just give us a second. We got this.
- We got this. Let's go.
01:12:08.005 --> 01:12:09.005
Thank you.
01:12:10.171 --> 01:12:13.880
All right. Ladies and gentlemen,
let's review the facts.
01:12:13.963 --> 01:12:14.838
Malcolm Quince,
01:12:14.921 --> 01:12:16.796
he was the first to get murdered.
01:12:16.880 --> 01:12:18.505
We all assumed it was Tobey.
01:12:18.588 --> 01:12:20.796
- No, we all assumed you did it.
- Mm-hmm.
01:12:20.880 --> 01:12:23.505
- Okay.
- Yeah, but Tobey hated his father,
01:12:23.588 --> 01:12:26.546
and he stood to inherit
billions of dollars.
01:12:26.630 --> 01:12:29.171
- Until he caught some lead to the dome.
- Mm-hmm.
01:12:29.255 --> 01:12:31.380
- Can you feel me, Raja?
- Pew-pew-pew!
01:12:31.671 --> 01:12:32.796
- There it is.
- And then,
01:12:32.880 --> 01:12:36.005
before Sergei was shot,
he told us that the Colonel did it.
01:12:36.088 --> 01:12:37.088
He told you what?
01:12:37.171 --> 01:12:40.421
But we know you didn't do it, Colonel,
because we saw you flossing your teeth
01:12:40.505 --> 01:12:42.463
when we were shimmying
by your window that night.
01:12:42.755 --> 01:12:45.505
You two were spying on me in my bathroom?
01:12:45.588 --> 01:12:49.255
Trust me, I did... We saw a lot of shit
that night that I did not want to see.
01:12:49.338 --> 01:12:52.921
I mean, apologize ahead of time.
We had to see you guys having sex.
01:12:53.213 --> 01:12:54.296
You, um...
01:12:54.380 --> 01:12:56.130
You... saw that?
01:12:56.213 --> 01:12:57.880
Maharajah, some advice for you.
01:12:57.963 --> 01:12:59.963
Maybe grab the bottom and squeeze.
01:13:01.130 --> 01:13:02.546
Huh. Word.
01:13:03.088 --> 01:13:03.921
Anyway...
01:13:04.005 --> 01:13:05.213
French fries. Yes.
01:13:05.296 --> 01:13:07.713
Actually, Juan Carlos,
you had nothing to do with this.
01:13:07.796 --> 01:13:09.516
You couldn't have had anything
to do with it
01:13:09.588 --> 01:13:12.255
because you were with us
when Suzi got killed.
01:13:12.338 --> 01:13:14.058
- So it wasn't you.
- Mm-mm.
01:13:14.130 --> 01:13:15.505
- It wasn't you.
- Mm-mm.
01:13:15.588 --> 01:13:17.338
- It wasn't you.
- No.
01:13:17.421 --> 01:13:18.546
It wasn't you.
01:13:18.921 --> 01:13:20.463
Holy shit! Maybe we did do it.
01:13:20.546 --> 01:13:22.005
- What?
- Did you?
01:13:22.088 --> 01:13:24.048
- Because listen...
- What did you just say to me?
01:13:24.130 --> 01:13:26.380
- I'm just messing around.
- There it is.
01:13:26.463 --> 01:13:28.463
- And he's clapping.
- Going to jail. Thanks, babe.
01:13:28.505 --> 01:13:31.463
I'm glad we finally
are all on the same page.
01:13:31.755 --> 01:13:35.338
Now, since the first murder occurred
in French territorial waters,
01:13:35.421 --> 01:13:38.838
I will be taking you to Paris
to be arraigned and tried.
01:13:38.921 --> 01:13:41.064
At least we're going to Paris.
You always wanted to go.
01:13:41.088 --> 01:13:43.921
Honey, if you keep making jokes
at a time like this,
01:13:44.005 --> 01:13:45.505
it's not gonna make this go away.
01:13:45.588 --> 01:13:48.838
Lucky for you, since 1977,
01:13:48.921 --> 01:13:51.630
there has been no death penalty
under French law.
01:13:52.005 --> 01:13:53.421
French law.
01:13:53.505 --> 01:13:54.421
French law.
01:13:54.505 --> 01:13:56.005
The French law. Yeah.
01:13:56.088 --> 01:13:58.671
Surely, Inspector, you of all people
01:13:58.755 --> 01:14:01.546
are familiar
with the French inheritance law.
01:14:01.921 --> 01:14:03.880
Are you implying I have bastard children?
01:14:04.505 --> 01:14:05.421
Well, I wasn't.
01:14:05.505 --> 01:14:06.588
Because I do.
01:14:06.671 --> 01:14:08.505
I was surprised you knew about them.
01:14:08.796 --> 01:14:10.421
I love those little bastards.
01:14:10.755 --> 01:14:14.880
Okay. Anyway, um,
the French law states that a man's estate
01:14:14.963 --> 01:14:17.880
must be divided equally
amongst his children.
01:14:18.171 --> 01:14:20.505
So it wouldn't matter what the will said.
01:14:20.588 --> 01:14:22.213
Straight up, Maharajah.
01:14:22.296 --> 01:14:26.380
The kids were gonna get the money,
whether the old man married Suzi or not.
01:14:26.463 --> 01:14:29.421
Mm-hmm.
But both of Malcolm's children are dead.
01:14:29.713 --> 01:14:31.255
- Both?
- Yes. Tobey,
01:14:31.338 --> 01:14:34.463
and the son he had
with Madeleine LeBoutillier..
01:14:34.546 --> 01:14:36.463
That boy died at childbirth.
01:14:36.755 --> 01:14:37.755
Did he, Colonel?
01:14:38.171 --> 01:14:40.171
I spoke to my partner in New York City.
01:14:40.255 --> 01:14:43.713
I said, get the death certificates
for Madeleine and the son.
01:14:43.796 --> 01:14:45.630
He could only find one for Madeleine.
01:14:45.713 --> 01:14:48.189
But then I started thinking,
maybe there's no death certificate
01:14:48.213 --> 01:14:49.796
because there was no death.
01:14:49.880 --> 01:14:54.546
Nonsense. Malcolm desperately wanted a boy
to sire the next generation of Quinces.
01:14:54.630 --> 01:14:56.255
He would never abandon a son.
01:14:56.338 --> 01:14:57.338
But...
01:14:58.171 --> 01:14:59.213
what if it was a daughter?
01:14:59.296 --> 01:15:00.522
- Yes!
- What if it was a daughter?
01:15:00.546 --> 01:15:01.921
The love of his life dies,
01:15:02.005 --> 01:15:04.588
dies giving birth
to his unwanted daughter.
01:15:04.671 --> 01:15:07.255
- Yes!
- It almost makes sense.
01:15:07.338 --> 01:15:09.546
- It does! It kinda does!
- It makes total sense.
01:15:09.630 --> 01:15:11.213
He gave her away.
01:15:11.296 --> 01:15:12.421
Then where is she now?
01:15:12.505 --> 01:15:15.171
Well, she could be anywhere.
She could have got married.
01:15:15.255 --> 01:15:18.046
She could've joined a gang,
changed her name. Who knows? Carry on.
01:15:18.338 --> 01:15:19.880
- Changed her name.
- Ah!
01:15:19.963 --> 01:15:22.505
- You changed your name.
- Yes.
01:15:22.588 --> 01:15:24.296
Your real last name isn't Ballard.
01:15:24.588 --> 01:15:25.588
So?
01:15:25.796 --> 01:15:27.796
Lots of artists change their names.
01:15:27.880 --> 01:15:29.796
Lady Gaga's real name isn't Lady Gaga.
01:15:29.880 --> 01:15:32.088
Yes, Lady Gaga. "Paparazzi," yes, good.
01:15:32.171 --> 01:15:35.546
But every Grace Ballard superfan knows
01:15:35.630 --> 01:15:37.755
your first movie was Summer Wetdown.
01:15:37.838 --> 01:15:41.088
You had three lines,
and you went by your birth name,
01:15:41.171 --> 01:15:42.671
Grace Butler.
01:15:43.046 --> 01:15:46.005
Which, en français,
roughly translates to LeBoutillier.
01:15:46.088 --> 01:15:48.588
Madeleine LeBoutillier, your mother.
01:15:48.671 --> 01:15:49.588
This is a joke.
01:15:49.671 --> 01:15:52.005
I wasn't even in the room
when Malcolm Quince was murdered.
01:15:52.088 --> 01:15:55.171
Fine! Then Tobey killed him,
but he did it with a little help.
01:15:55.255 --> 01:15:57.380
The lights. You turned out the lights.
01:15:58.088 --> 01:16:01.463
You convinced Tobey to kill Malcolm
so you could split the money with him.
01:16:03.588 --> 01:16:06.588
And then you killed Tobey
so that you could just keep all of it.
01:16:06.671 --> 01:16:09.505
Then me and this girl
started asking too many questions.
01:16:09.588 --> 01:16:10.921
So you had to get rid of us.
01:16:14.588 --> 01:16:17.338
Luckily, not for him,
but Sergei gets in the way.
01:16:18.463 --> 01:16:20.213
Then you seduce the Maharajah
01:16:20.296 --> 01:16:23.088
so that you would make us think
you were with him all night.
01:16:23.171 --> 01:16:26.505
Yo, you were just twizzlin'
on my wizzle for an alibi.
01:16:26.588 --> 01:16:27.671
Girl, that's cold.
01:16:27.755 --> 01:16:29.880
You tried to kill us in the library.
01:16:30.463 --> 01:16:33.213
You tried to kill us in the market,
but you got Suzi instead.
01:16:34.755 --> 01:16:36.213
- And the weapon...
- Hm!
01:16:36.296 --> 01:16:38.463
- I recognize the weapon now.
- The dart?
01:16:38.546 --> 01:16:41.314
It was a movie. I watched it one night.
You were out with your friends.
01:16:41.338 --> 01:16:43.046
You came back drunk and, uh...
01:16:43.130 --> 01:16:44.296
What the hell was it?
01:16:44.880 --> 01:16:46.005
Princess Blow Dart.
01:16:46.088 --> 01:16:47.088
Oh, God.
01:16:47.130 --> 01:16:48.505
That is not the name of a movie.
01:16:48.588 --> 01:16:49.630
It is! It is!
01:16:49.713 --> 01:16:51.380
Yo, look at my screensaver.
01:16:51.671 --> 01:16:53.421
- That's her!
- Oh, my gosh!
01:16:53.505 --> 01:16:55.588
So then you killed Charles
01:16:55.671 --> 01:16:59.505
because you knew he would never rest
until he found out who Suzi's killer was.
01:17:00.088 --> 01:17:02.421
'Cause he loved Suzi, not you!
01:17:02.505 --> 01:17:03.796
The three motives:
01:17:03.880 --> 01:17:05.421
money, love, revenge.
01:17:05.505 --> 01:17:06.755
You were the mastermind
01:17:06.838 --> 01:17:09.046
behind Malcolm Quince's murders,
weren't you?
01:17:09.130 --> 01:17:12.171
- And you were the one who framed us.
- You killed them all, didn't you?
01:17:12.255 --> 01:17:13.296
Didn't you?
01:17:13.963 --> 01:17:15.588
My father was a monster.
01:17:17.755 --> 01:17:18.755
So you admit it?
01:17:19.171 --> 01:17:20.171
Yes.
01:17:20.755 --> 01:17:23.755
I am the daughter of Malcolm Quince
and Madeleine LeBoutillier,
01:17:24.380 --> 01:17:27.421
and sole heir to the Quince fortune.
01:17:27.671 --> 01:17:30.130
Uh, and... what about the murders?
01:17:31.505 --> 01:17:33.046
Oh, I didn't do those.
01:17:33.505 --> 01:17:36.338
But it couldn't have happened
to a nicer group of people.
01:17:37.671 --> 01:17:38.671
So...
01:17:39.130 --> 01:17:40.463
what other proof do you have?
01:17:40.546 --> 01:17:42.171
- Of what?
- Proof of what?
01:17:42.255 --> 01:17:43.796
That she killed everybody?
01:17:44.255 --> 01:17:45.088
Yes.
01:17:45.171 --> 01:17:46.880
Aren't you gonna do anything at all?
01:17:47.338 --> 01:17:49.421
I mean, is there a French holiday
we're unaware of?
01:17:49.505 --> 01:17:50.755
What the hell do you do?
01:17:50.963 --> 01:17:51.963
Look...
01:17:52.505 --> 01:17:54.796
I don't know
how you do things in Brooklyn,
01:17:54.880 --> 01:17:57.463
but here we need evidence
to make an arrest.
01:17:57.546 --> 01:17:59.255
This is not
how this is supposed to happen.
01:17:59.338 --> 01:18:03.005
The detective is supposed to explain
the murders, which we just did,
01:18:03.088 --> 01:18:07.880
and then the killer is supposed to crack
and freak out under pressure and admit it!
01:18:08.421 --> 01:18:09.588
If there's nothing else,
01:18:09.671 --> 01:18:11.880
I'd like to start spending my money now.
01:18:16.796 --> 01:18:19.171
The hat. The hat! Uh, take off your hat.
01:18:20.630 --> 01:18:21.630
What?
01:18:22.171 --> 01:18:24.005
I said take off your hat.
01:18:25.755 --> 01:18:26.755
No.
01:18:27.046 --> 01:18:29.921
The Maharajah bought me this hat,
and I quite like it.
01:18:30.005 --> 01:18:32.421
Nick hit the killer in the head
with a plate.
01:18:33.171 --> 01:18:35.046
And it left a mark, didn't it?
01:18:35.671 --> 01:18:36.546
Also,
01:18:36.630 --> 01:18:41.213
why on earth would you put a hat
on a freshly styled head of hair?
01:18:41.296 --> 01:18:43.796
How would you know
my hair's been freshly styled?
01:18:43.880 --> 01:18:46.255
'Cause she's a goddamn hairdresser.
01:18:47.296 --> 01:18:49.046
Please remove your hat, Ms. Butler.
01:18:49.630 --> 01:18:51.255
I'll do nothing of the kind.
01:18:55.380 --> 01:18:58.296
The butler did it. Grace Butler did it!
Grace But... Right?
01:18:58.380 --> 01:19:00.796
- I said it on the plane.
- You had to do it!
01:19:00.880 --> 01:19:02.130
- Stay back!
- Jesus!
01:19:02.505 --> 01:19:03.505
Everybody!
01:19:06.255 --> 01:19:08.130
- Oh, my God!
- Son of a bitch.
01:19:08.880 --> 01:19:09.963
- Wait! No, no.
- Whoa!
01:19:10.046 --> 01:19:11.213
Nobody move!
01:19:11.296 --> 01:19:12.755
Nobody move, or I'll shoot her.
01:19:12.838 --> 01:19:14.421
Guns down. Baissez vos armes.
01:19:22.588 --> 01:19:23.748
Get an ambulance.
01:19:24.213 --> 01:19:26.380
Yo, I thought you said
he was a terrible shot.
01:19:26.463 --> 01:19:28.630
Not when it comes to saving my woman.
01:19:28.713 --> 01:19:31.421
I was aiming for her foot, by the way.
01:19:32.005 --> 01:19:33.630
All right. It's all right.
01:19:37.588 --> 01:19:40.296
Thank you for stepping in
and trying to stop her, Juan Carlos.
01:19:40.380 --> 01:19:41.546
That was so brave.
01:19:41.880 --> 01:19:42.921
De nada, señora.
01:19:45.963 --> 01:19:48.921
I love that. I love that he's brave
and I'm, what, nothing?
01:19:49.005 --> 01:19:51.755
- Are you kidding? I said you were brave.
- You didn't say it.
01:19:51.838 --> 01:19:54.380
I said so many times.
"Nick, you were so brave."
01:19:54.463 --> 01:19:57.005
De nada, señora. Halloween.
01:19:58.005 --> 01:19:59.088
Yo, I got a question.
01:19:59.755 --> 01:20:01.505
In the hotel in Monte Carlo,
01:20:01.588 --> 01:20:03.505
you said that you saw
me and Grace together.
01:20:03.796 --> 01:20:05.130
- We heard you.
- We heard you.
01:20:05.213 --> 01:20:07.088
We didn't like what we heard,
but I'll tell...
01:20:07.171 --> 01:20:09.380
- I'm sorry.
- I hope those are new pants, by the way.
01:20:09.463 --> 01:20:11.213
Yeah, but...
01:20:12.046 --> 01:20:13.088
But the truth is,
01:20:13.171 --> 01:20:15.421
Grace and I were together in the bar
01:20:15.505 --> 01:20:17.505
an hour before we got to our room,
01:20:17.588 --> 01:20:20.046
so how could she have killed Sergei
01:20:20.588 --> 01:20:21.713
if she was with me?
01:20:24.338 --> 01:20:25.213
Nick.
01:20:25.296 --> 01:20:26.296
Audrey.
01:20:26.755 --> 01:20:29.213
How did Juan Carlos understand
my English just now?
01:20:47.421 --> 01:20:48.546
Stop!
01:20:55.421 --> 01:20:56.755
No! No!
01:20:57.505 --> 01:20:58.963
Don't come any closer!
01:20:59.046 --> 01:21:00.880
Aah! He speaks English!
01:21:00.963 --> 01:21:02.796
I've spoken English my whole life,
you idiots,
01:21:02.880 --> 01:21:04.463
and a dozen other languages.
01:21:04.755 --> 01:21:06.588
And by the way, your Latin sucks.
01:21:06.671 --> 01:21:08.046
You understood it!
01:21:08.713 --> 01:21:12.005
Don't you even think about it, Colonel,
or I will shoot your dick off.
01:21:13.963 --> 01:21:15.671
Put your hands up in the air, now.
01:21:16.130 --> 01:21:18.838
I am the one who told her
to convince Tobey to kill his dad,
01:21:19.088 --> 01:21:20.880
destroy this sick family
01:21:20.963 --> 01:21:22.171
in the name of my father.
01:21:26.546 --> 01:21:27.546
Get into the car.
01:21:30.463 --> 01:21:31.546
Go in!
01:21:31.838 --> 01:21:33.838
Back off!
01:21:35.505 --> 01:21:36.588
I go fast.
01:21:42.505 --> 01:21:43.505
Hey!
01:21:45.005 --> 01:21:46.588
Look at that! A Ferrari!
01:21:46.671 --> 01:21:47.838
- What?
- Testarossa!
01:21:47.921 --> 01:21:49.296
Magnum P.I.! Me, baby!
01:21:49.380 --> 01:21:50.671
I got the mustache!
01:21:52.671 --> 01:21:54.213
Nick, you forgot the gun!
01:21:54.296 --> 01:21:57.463
This is incredible!
This is a fantasy for everybody!
01:21:57.546 --> 01:21:58.586
How does it open?
01:21:58.630 --> 01:22:00.338
Underneath! Pull! Pull! Come on!
01:22:00.755 --> 01:22:01.755
Oh, my God.
01:22:03.130 --> 01:22:04.130
What the...
01:22:04.421 --> 01:22:07.046
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say!
01:22:07.130 --> 01:22:08.130
Go, go, go!
01:22:19.630 --> 01:22:21.880
- Put your hands up. Hands up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:22:25.713 --> 01:22:26.796
All I'm saying is,
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:28.880
when the engine sounds like
your sister's voice...
01:22:29.296 --> 01:22:32.130
irritating, high, and loud...
you gotta switch gears.
01:22:32.213 --> 01:22:33.213
Ah.
01:22:36.755 --> 01:22:38.046
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:22:42.463 --> 01:22:43.463
Yes!
01:22:43.505 --> 01:22:45.671
Look how nice you handle this thing!
01:22:46.963 --> 01:22:49.213
♪ I'm gonna take you down ♪
01:22:50.296 --> 01:22:52.046
♪ Down, down, down... ♪
01:22:52.421 --> 01:22:53.546
Hey! Hey!
01:22:53.630 --> 01:22:54.630
Hey!
01:22:55.046 --> 01:22:56.686
- Honey, he's right up there.
- I see him.
01:22:56.713 --> 01:22:58.963
♪ I'm gonna pull it, pull it ♪
01:22:59.046 --> 01:23:00.338
♪ Pull the trigger ♪
01:23:00.838 --> 01:23:01.838
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
01:23:02.338 --> 01:23:03.588
♪ Play to kill ♪
01:23:04.255 --> 01:23:06.171
♪ Too many women... ♪
01:23:07.421 --> 01:23:08.505
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
01:23:09.130 --> 01:23:10.171
♪ Play to kill ♪
01:23:10.255 --> 01:23:14.630
♪ I got my gun at the ready
Gonna fire at will, yeah ♪
01:23:16.755 --> 01:23:18.046
♪ I'm like evil ♪
01:23:18.463 --> 01:23:20.005
♪ I get under your skin... ♪
01:23:20.088 --> 01:23:21.296
Whoa!
01:23:27.213 --> 01:23:28.380
Again!
01:23:30.463 --> 01:23:32.921
Yeah! Baby, nice. Nice! Nice turn!
01:23:33.005 --> 01:23:34.755
Look at you! Look at you!
01:23:35.880 --> 01:23:39.088
Keep going. Keep after him.
Keep after him. Keep going.
01:23:39.171 --> 01:23:40.505
Goat! Goat! Goat!
01:23:41.463 --> 01:23:42.755
Holy cow!
01:23:42.838 --> 01:23:45.088
Do you have any idea
how gorgeous you look?
01:23:45.171 --> 01:23:47.505
Wait! Second goat! What the hell?
01:23:47.588 --> 01:23:49.796
- Do you not like goats or something?
- I love them!
01:23:57.088 --> 01:23:58.088
Idiots.
01:24:04.921 --> 01:24:06.171
Oh, shit.
01:24:11.088 --> 01:24:12.088
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
01:24:13.088 --> 01:24:14.088
♪ Play to kill ♪
01:24:14.588 --> 01:24:17.338
♪ Too many women with too many pills... ♪
01:24:17.421 --> 01:24:19.213
Keep going, baby. Go! Go! Go!
01:24:19.296 --> 01:24:20.588
Go! Go! Go!
01:24:24.838 --> 01:24:27.130
- Holy shit!
- Oh, God!
01:24:29.421 --> 01:24:31.505
- We gotta pit him, honey.
- I gotta what him?
01:24:31.588 --> 01:24:34.088
What you do is you hit the back bumper
and he'll just spin out.
01:24:34.171 --> 01:24:35.814
- I can't do that. I can't...
- You got this.
01:24:35.838 --> 01:24:37.518
I can't. He's a Formula 1 race car driver!
01:24:39.630 --> 01:24:40.713
Faster! Come on!
01:24:40.796 --> 01:24:43.005
This is our adventure.
01:24:43.713 --> 01:24:44.713
Go for it.
01:24:45.255 --> 01:24:47.588
I can do this. I love you. That was sweet.
01:24:48.088 --> 01:24:49.130
Okay, here we go.
01:24:50.713 --> 01:24:52.213
♪ Shoot you ♪
01:24:52.296 --> 01:24:53.671
♪ Shoot you ♪
01:24:54.421 --> 01:24:55.463
No!
01:24:56.463 --> 01:24:58.772
He didn't spin. He didn't spin.
We just gotta take him out.
01:24:58.796 --> 01:24:59.963
- Take him out!
- Here we go.
01:25:00.046 --> 01:25:01.255
Floor it! Floor it!
01:25:03.421 --> 01:25:04.630
Oh!
01:25:04.713 --> 01:25:05.755
What?
01:25:09.546 --> 01:25:11.386
Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!
Hit the brakes!
01:25:21.963 --> 01:25:24.838
Do you have any idea how cool you are?
01:25:24.921 --> 01:25:27.005
- Happy anniversary, baby!
- Yeah.
01:25:27.088 --> 01:25:28.088
Oh!
01:25:31.671 --> 01:25:32.838
Oh, my God.
01:25:32.921 --> 01:25:34.380
- Okay.
- Okay.
01:25:34.463 --> 01:25:36.689
- I'm gonna go get that guy out of the car.
- Go get him.
01:25:36.713 --> 01:25:37.588
I love you.
01:25:37.671 --> 01:25:38.838
- I love you.
- Oh, my God.
01:25:43.338 --> 01:25:44.838
Let's go. Let's go.
01:25:44.921 --> 01:25:46.755
I got you. Come on.
01:25:47.088 --> 01:25:49.046
All right.
01:25:53.546 --> 01:25:55.130
I'm so sick of you, cop!
01:25:55.213 --> 01:25:56.838
You should have never come here!
01:25:56.921 --> 01:25:59.796
You should have just stayed home,
eating hot dogs,
01:25:59.880 --> 01:26:02.880
reading People magazine,
and watching reality TV.
01:26:08.046 --> 01:26:09.046
Baby.
01:26:09.255 --> 01:26:11.796
You know, that was our...
That was our tour bus!
01:26:11.880 --> 01:26:14.272
No toilets, no Wi-Fi,
and you're running over people?
01:26:14.296 --> 01:26:17.921
- Brittany's hogging the window seat!
- I want to see the dead guy!
01:26:18.005 --> 01:26:21.338
Just sit down and shut up!
I'm gonna take a picture!
01:26:21.630 --> 01:26:23.630
- All right. I love you.
- Oh, my God, this guy...
01:26:23.713 --> 01:26:25.689
- We gotta ask 'em how they age ham.
- I don't care!
01:26:25.713 --> 01:26:26.546
Come on!
01:26:26.630 --> 01:26:29.088
♪ Do you love me too... ♪
01:26:29.171 --> 01:26:33.005
On behalf of Interpol,
I thank you, Mrs. Spitz.
01:26:33.088 --> 01:26:34.963
You are as brilliant as you are beautiful.
01:26:35.046 --> 01:26:37.796
Oh, my gosh.
Well, thank you for that.
01:26:37.880 --> 01:26:40.421
- And Officer Spitz.
- I go, what? What?
01:26:40.505 --> 01:26:42.630
It seems you are quite the detective
after all.
01:26:42.713 --> 01:26:44.380
- You are!
- With this girl, yes.
01:26:44.463 --> 01:26:47.546
Something I will be passing along
to your superiors in New York.
01:26:47.630 --> 01:26:48.838
That would be big.
01:26:48.921 --> 01:26:51.601
I have to tell you, I think
this entire experience was pretty great.
01:26:51.630 --> 01:26:52.838
- Incredible.
- Yeah.
01:26:52.921 --> 01:26:55.255
Outside of the murders,
it was on the money.
01:26:55.338 --> 01:26:59.088
Well, I hope the rest of your trip,
which we have arranged for you,
01:26:59.171 --> 01:27:00.296
is more relaxing.
01:27:00.380 --> 01:27:01.796
- Bon voyage.
- Well, thank you.
01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:04.255
You owe that to us,
but thank you so much.
01:27:04.338 --> 01:27:06.171
You ever come to New York, you look us up.
01:27:06.255 --> 01:27:10.046
We'll pin, uh, a triple homicide on you
or a kidnapping or something.
01:27:11.255 --> 01:27:13.005
- Thank you. Okay.
- Thank you so much.
01:27:13.088 --> 01:27:14.755
Good to meet you. All right. Be safe.
01:27:15.171 --> 01:27:17.022
- Good anniversary, right?
- Amazing anniversary.
01:27:17.046 --> 01:27:19.130
- Kind of... Kind of a cool one.
- Loved it!
01:27:19.213 --> 01:27:21.053
What did you get me, by the way,
for a present?
01:27:21.088 --> 01:27:22.255
What? Oh, uh...
01:27:22.338 --> 01:27:24.088
I got you the Amazon gift card.
01:27:24.171 --> 01:27:26.255
- You did?
- No, I didn't get you anything.
01:27:26.338 --> 01:27:27.755
♪ You will see ♪
01:27:28.130 --> 01:27:29.213
♪ Finally ♪
01:27:29.296 --> 01:27:33.838
♪ You and me shall always be as one ♪
01:27:34.880 --> 01:27:38.505
♪ See what happiness has done ♪
01:27:39.171 --> 01:27:43.755
♪ We must be in love ♪
01:27:44.380 --> 01:27:46.296
♪ We must be in love ♪
01:28:00.213 --> 01:28:01.255
♪ I sigh ♪
01:28:01.338 --> 01:28:02.588
♪ I don't know why ♪
01:28:02.671 --> 01:28:03.838
♪ I sigh ♪
01:28:03.921 --> 01:28:07.005
♪ Is it that I'm lonely for you? ♪
01:28:09.463 --> 01:28:13.296
♪ Are you lonely for me too? ♪
01:28:13.796 --> 01:28:18.046
♪ We must be in love ♪
01:28:18.880 --> 01:28:19.796
♪ Let me tell you now ♪
01:28:19.880 --> 01:28:22.213
♪ I miss your tender kiss ♪
01:28:22.296 --> 01:28:24.505
♪ Your tender kiss is what I miss ♪
01:28:24.588 --> 01:28:28.380
♪ I have a strange desire ♪
01:28:29.130 --> 01:28:31.171
♪ For your lips of fire ♪
01:28:33.421 --> 01:28:37.921
♪ We must be in love ♪
01:28:39.546 --> 01:28:41.963
♪ Do you love me too... ♪
01:28:42.305 --> 01:28:48.526